@countessalmirena wrote:
As I'm in that sort of mood (the sort of mood where I'd reply with brutal whimsy), I might reply in this manner:
Dear [buyer]
Thank you for your offer. It's a particularly fascinating offer as it received no solicitation to cross my threshold, and thus I prize it dearly. Does it seem to you, as it does to me, that it may be a harbinger of the quizzical?
May I counter in a manner that suits the present circumstances? If you have a spare child lying around the place, I happen to have room in my collection for just one more. Please describe your spare child in detail, and I will measure the prepared repository (which I assure you is very nice indeed, gold-edged and lined with smudge-proof silk), to see whether the size is as correct as Cinderella's foot in the slipper.
Yours in caprice,
[name]
Could sign your name as Jonathan Swift.
