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@staffy33 wrote:

So I should have followed the rulesept the extra postage

and ripped the guy off.

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This is the glass half empty way to look at it, IMHO.

I issue refunds on postage costs quite frequently, due to buyers purchasing items separately and paying full postage costs on each, when if they had bought them together, they would have only paid the one flat rate I have. 

At most, ripping them off would be combining without refunding anything. Doing as they have technically instructed me to do would be to send each order separately. To refund as much as i can without incurring further cost myself and combining, is the best customer service I can provide in that circumstance, and I have only ever been thanked for it, and never have I been asked why I didn't refund more - most actually don't even acknowledge it at all, very occasionally someone will misunderstand why I've refunded and assume I'm not supplying something in their order and send a curt or even angry message about that, but it's quickly sorted when I clarify the reason for the refund. Sometimes I've added that I can't issue a full refund as eBay retain a portion of the payment, and everyone I have explained that to has understood it and still thanked me for the refund.

Some buyers will be focussed on every last cent they spend and think they are owed more or should have paid less or only pay the exact amount postage costs etc etc etc, but they tend to not be the ones that will check out multiple items separately - those types of buyers will wait for invoices, or ask about combined postage up front, or - if they just want to add items to an existing order - message and ask how to do so without paying unnecessary postage costs, which will allow the opportunity to set up a custom listing and not incur the additional FVF for no reason. 

If a customer finds it easier to check out multiple times, their concern is convenience, not cost, and if your concern is the buyer's, just accommodate them without paying for it (by which I mean, refund less cost incurred).