In regards to the first issue, you can either send the buyer a mutual cancellation to get your fees back, or after four days you will be able to open an unpaid item dispute, wait another four full days, and when it closes you will have the fees credited.

The mutual cancellation is quicker, but riskier because you're relying on the buyer to agree (if they don't, the FVF is not credited back), and they can sometimes ignore it completely so you'll have to wait 7 days to close it manually. An unpaid item dispute takes minimum 8 days, but the buyer will receive a strike, and should be prevented from leaving you feedback of any kind. 

I don't use Paymate, so I don't really know what you can do or suggest to your buyer to help resolve the problem quickly, sorry.