and i also hate the flippent actions of oh dont really want it now, just cancel it, and then they go on their merry way and leave me to clean up-- and not help in speeding up the process.

daz, the speediest cleanup is 4 days. open the dispute and close it in 4 days, FINISHED ENDED CLEANED UP.

and no f/b can be left, meaning you dont get a neg and more importantly you  are not tempted to do something which could get you a policy violation (they HURT your business more than a neg. in Best Match searches]

T OP, when buyer refused cancellation, why did you not open NPB instead of sending rude messages?

You cannot open NPB case after you have asked for cancellation

Sorry OP - I stand corrected, thanks you Nova, I had no idea you could not open case after offering cancellation, will lock that away in my memory (thankfully I have had no nasties that have required NPB)

so we have new updated information, the buyer has revised the negative feedback, now just have to work out how to revise the feedback i left the buyer....

I'm curious - it's a policy violation to leave positive feedback with a negative comment... how about if you left positive feedback with a positive comment, but then posted a follow up with a negative comment

eg. positive feedback could say "fast payment, hope you enjoy it!", then follow up could say "beware of this buyer, left a negative with no communication" or something?

so it has been a huge mess, but all fixed up now, negative feedback has been reversed and ive been in contact with ebay and they are going to remove the feedback i left the buyer (a positive cant been revised, only removed)

a lot of lessons learnt  here! glad its all over ..

Please add this buyer to your BBL - I have