Jenny, regardless of whether you believe yourself to be in the right, the fact remains, that your listings do seem to be causing you some problems. You have asked what else you can do in your opening post, very experienced, unbiased sellers and buyers have given you their suggestions and opinions in this thread.

Why not take some of them on board and give them a go?

What you're doing is clearly not achieving the results that you desire, so wouldn't it be kinda wise to try something a bit different?

Not everybody reads and interprets anything in the same manner as you do, nor do they apply the same kind of logic to a situation.

What have you got to lose by following the suggestions that these very experienced and successful sellers have put forth?

The ones I personally like are

1) Start the listing title with "Pattern for........" even make it more fool proof by saying "Paper Pattern for"

2) The first line of your descriptive listing could have a bright coloured enlarged blurb saying something like "Please note, this auction is for a paper pattern featured in Picture number 3. The gallery photo and other pictures are provided as an indication of what the product may look like if you use the paper pattern and follow the instructions. The auction is not for the finished product.
3) Include the relevant picture of a paper pattern in your pictures.

4) List in the correct category if you are not already doing so.

Best of luck with it all.

One of the keys to an enjoyable selling experience on eBay is to make your listings fool proof.