I've never tried to load a picture through the eBay message system, but if she paid by pay pal, she will have your email address. Just request that she send the picture through email.

Just to cover yourself, and this may be being overly cautious, but if you go down that route, make the message in eBay very clear - ie - "I understand that you may have trouble uploading a picture into an eBay message, I'm no IT genius myself, and I've never tried to do it. Because you paid by PayPal, you have my email address, just send me a photo via that email addy with a full description of the fault and ......... (return and refund info that you want to convey)."

I'm not sure why, but something in the back of my mind is saying just to cover yourself with eBay and be totally trasparent so thet your honesty and integrity os not bought into question.

My only real concern is for you and the manner in which she evaluates any feedback she may leave for you. It's a hard one, eh? Stick by your principles, or cave into the pressure of the threat of unflattering feedback.....

BTW - DO NOT enter into any conversation about feedback with the buyer, eBay don't like that very much and it may work against you if you need their help down the track to have any unfair feedback removed.