I feel Davewil doesn't really sell for money or he would appreciate the fact that feedback is the golden pathway to our bread and butter.  

Bad feedback = hesitant customers.  Lower sales.  Bad Feedback also = possible selling restrictions regardless of how 'fair' it is. 

So, I think it is right to be afraid of negative feedback.   It will be a weight of your mind to have the customer just return and do a straight refund, rather than wait for 60 days to pass in fear of her leaving a neg or low DSR's (which are as bad as each other in ebay's eyes). 

It isn't fair, and it isn't normal for most businesses - a B & M store doesn't have the same issues that an ebay sellers faces for example - but it is normal for ebay