sorry you have had this experience.  However, if they hadn't thought of negging you then I think your buyer will neg you for the email you sent them.  Your email contains many points that your buyer may take exception with . . . but the one that would rile me if I was your buyer is  "As you are new to eBay, I have decided to take pity on you and refund your money".

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"if a story doesn't make sense . . . . then it is not true" - Judge Judy