I'll ask since nobody else will.   Why were you squeaking, d*g?

It was'nae me, not specifically anyway...

It was the water pipes. You see, I had the audacity to wash my hands after using the bathroom and she could hear the pipes. At 9:45pm, it was (of course) far too late to be up doing things like washing hands because she was trying to sleep (as was the entire neighbourhood, apparently...except for me). 

The obvious solution is to bang on your tenant's door and yell your head off for 5 minutes because their squeaky pipes were disturbing the neighbourhood.