The seller is obliged to refund if the item is not as described, or hasn’t arrived – as long as you act as per the terms and conditions of eBay’s Money Back Guarantee.

The refund is not conditional upon your revising feedback. Indeed, the seller is acting in bad faith and against eBay policy by stating that a refund is conditional in this way.

Read this link: https://www.ebay.com.au/help/buying/returns-items-not-received-refunds-buyers/return-item-refund?id=...

Also this link: https://www.ebay.com.au/help/policies/ebay-money-back-guarantee-policy/ebay-money-back-guarantee-pol...

This is the least of your concerns… but you could report the seller:

https://www.ebay.com.au/help/action?topicId=4850

This is how one would do it (screenshot below):

But the most important thing is to ensure you have opened a return/refund case, on the basis of item being not as described. The seller is supposed to provide you with a return postage label, which you use to return the item.

The return address is provided by the seller on that label. This is all done within the dispute.

Upon tracking showing that the item was received, seller has 3 business days to refund you.

If seller fails to refund you, you would select the option within the dispute for eBay to step in (also know as escalating the dispute). eBay would refund you based on the tracking proving return of item/item received by seller.

The timeframes are absolute. The MBG process is bot-driven and there’s no wriggle room. If you don’t open the dispute within the timeframe (30 days from receiving the item), you can no longer open one. If you don’t send the item back within the required timeframe (4 days, I believe?), it’s too late. If you don’t ask eBay to step in within the appropriate timeframe if the seller is uncooperative, it’s too late. If the dispute closes automatically without your action to ask eBay to step in if seller hasn’t refunded, within 28 days, it’s too late and the dispute can’t be reopened.

Check the MBG link I posted. It will give you all of the timeframes.

If you’ve returned the item yourself, paying for it yourself and sending to an address that the seller has not provided to you, it’s not straightforward and you may be in some difficulty. In that case, make sure you have the tracking information to prove return, as well as any information the seller gave you re address (if they gave you any), and hop onto Live Cgat during business hours. Type into chat window “Talk to an agent” or words to that effect, and see whether a CS agent can or will assist. Bear in mind that eBay CS agents have limited power, may not be willing or able to swerve out of the strict policy wording, and will say anything to get you off the chat as quickly as possible. Stay polite and be patient if necessary…

… but if you HAVE sent back the item appropriately, using seller’s return postage label, you don’t need to try the live chat route. Instead, make sure you have the tracking number in the dispute - enter it again if need be - and then ask eBay to step in, using the option within the dispute to do so.

If the dispute has closed already… you have voided your cover under the MBG, and it is unlikely that any pleading will resolve the issue.

It would then also be too late to open a case through PayPal Buyer Protection. (Not As Described protection is now no longer than eBay’s MBG.) You could in that case (worst case scenario) request a chargeback by your bank/card issuer if you funded your purchase by credit or debit card.

So… first question… did you open an actual dispute? Second question… is it still open? Have you escalated?

By the way, if I were you, I would cease further communication with the seller at this point.  O need for any back and forth, and no need to tell seller he could stew in a piranha goulash before you would be willing to change your feedback. Or… you could reply “Dear [seller], any issue of feedback revision can only be addressed once I have been refunded as per eBay’s Money Back Guarantee. Please refund asap. In anticipation of your swift action to resolve this, yours sincerely, [buyer].”

Needless to say, the issue of feedback revision would be addressed after a refund by a smile and a refusal.