Postage Rates Table Problem

I charge freight on all items using the postage rates table. However, the table option only appers when you select "flat rate for all buyers" in the Domestic Postage section. If you try and use "Calculated-Cost vaires by location" the option for Rates table dissapears.
The problem is that if you don't put an amount in the "flat rate" box the item shows as "Free" until someone goes to buy it and enters their postcode, at which time the rates table kicks in and shows the correct postage. If you do put an amount in the "flat rate" box the same problem happens - buyer sees this flat rate until they either log in or go to buy and the proper rates table charge appears. This is causing us a lot of problems with customers assuming we are cheating them

 

Anyone else have this problem?