I have come to realise that my cat believes that he is a Prince surrounded by two legged servants who must fulfill his every desire. He demands bodily warmth when he wants it, but will not tolerate even a pat if he is not in the mood. Servants who do not obey are punished swiftly with a good slap. He is pedantic about his diet and where he sleeps. He does not like to be woken when fast asleep between my legs on a cold winter's night. Nature calling at these times must be ignored.
Anybody got any suggestions on how I can better deal with this?
Below is a photo of His Majesty doing his daily work out.
I decided to consult a specialist (my own feline Princess) and she told me (between yawns) that she doesn't see a problem.
Apparently your Prince is doing everything right and he's got you nicely trained (except possibly you are drinking too much liquid necessitating disturbing him at inopportune moments).
I'm afraid you just have to accept that you are not in charge of your life any more. Your cat is! ..... 
We have two of those .. 
You can't be serious? Too much pandering to this 4 legged furball.
I know who'd be getting a swift slap in my house.
My cat has learned not to come to me for anything.
She goes to the sook in the house - hubby. He'll fall over himself to pander to her.
I won't.
Downside is......she tries to murder me in the middle of the night, in the dark.
She's black and I trip over her.
My Missy is 13. I don't take carp from cats.
I love 'em, but I'm cranky
(Also works with grandkids)
Got someone else to be the food source? That's how I fixed my dilemma.
Hubby feeds her and I don't take carp from her.
She steers clear of me and annoys him instead.
