Seller refusing to ship item due to dispute

[missbmb]

I purchased an item last week. After communicating quite a lot with the seller prior to buying, she seemed to cease all communication once the payment was made. I acknowledge that I over reacted a little, and was starting to feel wary. She hadn’t replied to numerous messages so I opened a paypal dispute. Immediately after that she contacted me stating she would not ship the item unless I cancelled the dispute. I have apologised to her and told her I don’t feel comfortable with that, as if she doesn’t send the item for some reason I have no means of being refunded. I feel like she is holding me ransom! She has received her payment of AUD$116 so I feel it is unfair of her to do this. I have told her I will close the dispute if the item is shipped. What would you do?

[repentatleisure1952]

"What would you do?"

I have no real helpful advice.

However I know what I would have done after making payment.

I would have simply sat back & waited for the item to arrive.

", she seemed to cease all communication once the payment was made. I acknowledge that I over reacted a little, and was starting to feel wary. She hadn’t replied to numerous messages"

Why did the seller need to communicate after payment?

In what way did you over react?

What were the "numerous messages" that you sent?

Did you open the case prior to the last estimated delivery case?

[davewil1964]

YOU are holding her to ransom.

When last week? Have you left her enough time to post? What does the (fantasy) eBay delivery estimate say? That will give an indication of handling time.

Now the case is open you have left her little wriggle room. How many messages did you send in that week (or less)? Why have you gone in with all guns blazing when it hasn't been a week? How does she know you won't escalate the case and get your money back before she can upload tracking?

You have 32 days from the last estimated delivery date with eBay and 180 days from the transaction date with Paypal to open cases, so you do seem to have overreacted.

[kopenhagen5 · Accepted solution]

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@missbmb wrote:
I purchased an item last week. After communicating quite a lot with the seller prior to buying, she seemed to cease all communication once the payment was made. I acknowledge that I over reacted a little, and was starting to feel wary. She hadn’t replied to numerous messages so I opened a paypal dispute. Immediately after that she contacted me stating she would not ship the item unless I cancelled the dispute. I have apologised to her and told her I don’t feel comfortable with that, as if she doesn’t send the item for some reason I have no means of being refunded. I feel like she is holding me ransom! She has received her payment of AUD$116 so I feel it is unfair of her to do this. I have told her I will close the dispute if the item is shipped. What would you do?

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You have handled it totally incorrectly.

If she sends it and you close the case, then you can't open another if she sends an empty box or the item is not as described.

Also I am not surprised she won't send until the case is closed as you might get the item AND a refund.

If you were a seller, you wouldn't send it either in fear of buyer getting a free item.

Come on, fair go. Some eBayers are only on their computers 2-3 times a week.

If you want the item you have no choice but to close the case and hope everything is ok when you receive it.

I am surprised you were actually able to open a case, I suspect PayPal don't realise the estimated delivery date has not passed.

[lyndal1838]

Paypal don't care when the estimated delivery date is......that is exclusive to an ebay dispute.

With paypal the buyer can open a dispute any time......even 5 minutes after paying.

I suspect the OP found this out.   They would not have been able to open an ebay dispute so took the next best option and went with paypal.

I really hope the seller sticks to their guns and does not send the item.....this is appalling behaviour on the part of the OP.

[missbmb]

Ok, you guys have made your point. I did over react. But I didn’t set out with any malicious intent. After the item was paid for, I asked her when it would be shipped and 5 days passed with no communication. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Im not wanting an item and a refund - I’m not out to scam the system at all. I have been burnt many times buying on eBay, and that is why I over reacted.

[davewil1964]

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@missbmb wrote:
Ok, you guys have made your point. I did over react. But I didn’t set out with any malicious intent. After the item was paid for, I asked her when it would be shipped and 5 days passed with no communication. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Im not wanting an item and a refund - I’m not out to scam the system at all. I have been burnt many times buying on eBay, and that is why I over reacted.

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2 of which were a weekend. So we're looking at 3 business days since the purchase.

[lyndal1838]

Why did you need to ask when the item would be posted? 

Did you not get an estimated delivery date when you paid for the item?

If you have been burnt in the past I assume you did not use the dispute system to get refunds?  Why not?

Ebay really is safe to use if you know how it works and use the tools provided to protect yourself.

Harassing sellers is NOT the way to protect yourself and most likely will find you on many blocked bidders lists.

[springyzone]

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@missbmb wrote:
I purchased an item last week. After communicating quite a lot with the seller prior to buying, she seemed to cease all communication once the payment was made. I acknowledge that I over reacted a little, and was starting to feel wary. She hadn’t replied to numerous messages so I opened a paypal dispute. Immediately after that she contacted me stating she would not ship the item unless I cancelled the dispute. I have apologised to her and told her I don’t feel comfortable with that, as if she doesn’t send the item for some reason I have no means of being refunded. I feel like she is holding me ransom! She has received her payment of AUD$116 so I feel it is unfair of her to do this. I have told her I will close the dispute if the item is shipped. What would you do?

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Like you, I have had some bad experiences in the past. In fact sending out parcels late was absolutely rife on ebay, back in the day.

I'd say that's the very reason the current system of marked symbols and ETA is now in place for buyers.

I don't know how many messages you sent to the seller but if 5 days passed without her answering your query about postage and after she had been very responsive before the sale, then I think the seller was rude. All she needed to do was send one reply.

The fact that she responded immediately once you opened a case proves to me she was online alright, she was just ignoring your messages.

And we know why. Because she had not even posted the article. I don't expect sellers to hop to it instantly when i buy something but these days, on ebay, 5 days without even posting an item off is very unusual. On the slack side.

I think you went about things the wrong way by jumping straight into a dispute, but what is done, is done.

My worry for you is that I have read here in the past that you can open an ebay dispute and if that fails, go on to open a paypal dispute. But not vice versa.

So you have burned your bridges.

If you close this dispute and she sends nothing, you have nowhere to go, you won't be able to reopen the paypal dispute nor open an ebay dispute, you will have lost your money.

If you leave this paypal dispute open, you will be able to claim the money back, because of course the seller has not sent it.

You asked what we would do.

That's what I would probably be inclined to do. Get my money back, because at this stage, that's a sure thing.

If on the other hand, the seller has a great reputation and history and you really want the item, can't find it elsewhere, you could cancel the case and take a risk, hope for the best.

[4channel]

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@missbmb wrote:
Ok, you guys have made your point. I did over react. But I didn’t set out with any malicious intent. After the item was paid for, I asked her when it would be shipped and 5 days passed with no communication. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Im not wanting an item and a refund - I’m not out to scam the system at all. I have been burnt many times buying on eBay, and that is why I over reacted.

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Hi missbmb, I hope it turns out OK for you. I'd just like to add that when I have opened a PayPal dispute, with the sellers that are not blatantly stuffing me around or have been dishonest, I have said to them   .. ..   "Look, I have opened this dispute just to cover myself as I have been conned in the past. This is nothing against you, I am just concerned about a few things. When the item arrives (Or issue resolved), I'll close the case and (I have sometimes said this and always followed up on this when I do) I'm still happy to put in some positive feedback for you. You can then put in some positive feeback that can range from a simple thankyou to I'm happy thanks for that.

BTW: I have been ripped off and diddled by some crooked sellers too. An associate of mine has been ripped off and lied to like you wouldn't believe. Yes, so it's understandable.