How do you tell a friend.....

[red.lollipop]

.....they feed their kid too much **bleep**? 

A friend of mine has a little girl - she's 10.  We get together quite regularly and every time we do, he buys her things like pancakes and a big piece of cake with icecream just for morning tea, then they go out to lunch.  (Don't know how she fits it all in!!!)  She's a lovely little girl and every time I see her, she's getting heavier and she also refuses to play any sport or even go outside and my friend (her dad) doesn't push it either.  I just feel like my friend doesn't see what's happening, and she's such a nice little girl I'd hate to think of her getting picked on or anything because of it.  It's not just every now and then either.  Whatever she asks for, she will normally get. 

[cherry*135]

I wouldn't think it was your place to comment directly on what they eat, or what child is given to eat. Not if you want to remain friends with the Dad.

Buy them a juicer and a load of fresh vegs and some fruit for a gift!

[red.lollipop]

I agree --- it's not my place, but I just feel for the little girl and wondered if anybody had some tactful suggestions, as tact is sometimes not my strongest point 🙂

[azureline**]

It depends on the extent of your friendship.

It may be a rare treat?

All children are different, one of mine was a skinny mini for her first 5 years and ate very little, she was chubby as a pre teen but didn't get picked on. Now she is back to thin again. She has never eaten rubbish/sugar/fatty food.

[cherry*135]

I don't think there is a tactful way. Unless the parent mentions it first. You don't know how they are going to react.

As az said, eating out may be a treat. Do you know what they eat at home. Is her mother in the picture, does she have meals at home with her too?

[red.lollipop]

I know them well enough to know it's not a rare treat.  And absolutely kids do differ and of course she may change as she gets older.  It just doesn't look like the normal "puppy fat" if you know what I mean, and she really does look quite unhealthy.  She is asked if she wants to go for a walk/ride/scoot or throw a ball at the park,  but she will say no and her dad won't push it.  

[the*scarlet*pimpernel]

could you say something like " WOW, that's a lot to eat for a little girl, are you sure you'll fit all that in?" in a bright happy tone whilst looking pointedly at the dad

[this-one-time-at-bandcamp]

You know, if you said that in the Southern US, there's a good chance you'd "eat lead".......

[simone4010]

Red.lollipop

Would I be correct in assuming that your friend is separated from the child’s mother? I say this because often when the parents split up they over compensate for this and give the child/children everything they ask for. Your friend is probably not even aware of what he is doing. And if no-one says anything to him, then how will he know he’s doing the ‘wrong’ thing. Unfortunately, eating habits start when we are young, so those habits will carry into her adulthood.

Do you have a close relationship with the dad? If so, I would broach the subject with him, tactfully of course. You could even find some articles on childhood/adulthood obesity and how diet is the main contributor to this, not to mention the insults and bullying she may face as she gets older.

Maybe when you meet up with them, you could suggest some activities for you all that will be some form of exercise ie bike riding, a long walk or ball game in the park, or even swimming.

[the*scarlet*pimpernel]

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@this-one-time-at-bandcamp wrote:

You know, if you said that in the Southern US, there's a good chance you'd "eat lead".......

---

really?

why?