Moving in with elderly parents - any tips?

[givemeaspell]

so we have decided to move in with my parents who are elderly and struggling a bit in their own home (physically not financially). We will most likely stay with them 4 days per week as we have a holiday home.  Just wondering if others have gone down this track and if you have any tips in making this a smooth transition. The benefits of this is to enable them to stay in their own envirnonment, to also give them company.  Im sure there are many negatives but willing to give this a go.  

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

Dont have any experience in this, but it will probably depend on your parents, their routines and their personalities and the size of the home..

I would be trying to make the transition slowly, perhaps spending time with both of them (together and separately) outside the home..rather than all 4 of you trying to manage together in one place.

Do you know their routines? Are they looking forward to the changes?

I wish you all the best- it sounds like a good solution for all, but adjustments may need to be made..

Good luck!

[givemeaspell]

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@youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit wrote:

Dont have any experience in this, but it will probably depend on your parents, their routines and their personalities and the size of the home..

I would be trying to make the transition slowly, perhaps spending time with both of them (together and separately) outside the home..rather than all 4 of you trying to manage together in one place.

Do you know their routines? Are they looking forward to the changes?

I wish you all the best- it sounds like a good solution for all, but adjustments may need to be made..

Good luck!

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thanks, yes we are very close, see them almost every day anyhow, big family home.  They def appreciate us doing this, although they knowi it wont be 7 days a week it will be company whilst we are there. willing to give it a go.

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

I think your willingness will hold you in good stead!

Also, the very relationships you already have, will mean that it will be a lot more enjoyable..

It can be hard for some people to accept help, they feel such a loss of power and independence, but it sounds like they know they need some, and are looking forward to your company..Thats fantastic for all..

Best of luck

[lind9650]

I have never moved in with elderly parents, but I have taken care of my parents and my parents in law for many years. Besides being good company and giving them a sense of security that you are always available when they need help makes a big difference to frail, old people.

Ask your mother how she usually does her housework. Changeing bedding, cleaning floors and bathroom etc. and try to fit those chores around her routines. Things Council Home Help does, but having a daughter instead of a stranger to do those jobs makes a big difference.

Then there may be a bit of garden to take care of. Mowing lawns, weeding and pruning. Things your father most likely does, but with age the bones are not as strong to work for long hours and aches and pains are the result.

Try to do things together with them, as a team. Housework or gardening can be shared and made as fun times. Also ask your mother about cooking the meals. Perhaps you can cook when at their home and she can have a spell.

Just try to work things out to the satisfaction of all. It really is not that hard when you love the people you are going to share part of your life with.

I wish you and yours all happiness.

Erica

[givemeaspell]

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@lind9650 wrote:

I have never moved in with elderly parents, but I have taken care of my parents and my parents in law for many years. Besides being good company and giving them a sense of security that you are always available when they need help makes a big difference to frail, old people.

Ask your mother how she usually does her housework. Changeing bedding, cleaning floors and bathroom etc. and try to fit those chores around her routines. Things Council Home Help does, but having a daughter instead of a stranger to do those jobs makes a big difference.

Then there may be a bit of garden to take care of. Mowing lawns, weeding and pruning. Things your father most likely does, but with age the bones are not as strong to work for long hours and aches and pains are the result.

Try to do things together with them, as a team. Housework or gardening can be shared and made as fun times. Also ask your mother about cooking the meals. Perhaps you can cook when at their home and she can have a spell.

Just try to work things out to the satisfaction of all. It really is not that hard when you love the people you are going to share part of your life with.

I wish you and yours all happiness.

Erica

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thankyou Erica, your tips are appreciated.  Yes there is a big garden so we can make that easier as I enjoy doing that sort of thing as well.  There are two living areas as well so perhaps when we are all feeling a bit smothered we can seperate, I think my OH will find it harder than me and I appreciate him making this effort.