Visiting Irishman From UK

[tommy.irene]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

[tommy.irene]

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[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

Was in hospital with CANCER in the lung,, Doctors waiting to do tests.. Had Doctor come in and tell me that oxygen is not at righting ..and Cancer is spreading around lungs .. Say i may have 2 or 4 weeks to live ..Its one day at a time with me now.. I had a good innings and anyone whos knows me say im always happy.. at hospital in 2017 then 2018 got the all clear.. .. Just waiting to be sent home to die. They said Oxygen is what lungs needs and lungs not strong enouth..they didnt send for me 2019 or 2020 for follow up..thats when tumber formed If i had been scaned they would have found the tumber,, cant wait to get home ..The hospital is doing an after care programe for me in the house.. Am now home ..time to put my jokes on .....Join Tommys Jokes on facebook.

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

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[tommy.irene]

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[tommy.irene]

Hi,

[tommy.irene]

.The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found ? Yes, your daughter, my Jean, with a naked guy in our marital bed! This is unforgiveable, the end of our marriage. I'm done.
I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his
mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I 'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"I told you there must be a simple explanation .....she didn't receive your email"..

[not_for_sale2024]

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@tommy.irene wrote:

Hi,

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Hi Tommy, how are you doing?

[tommy.irene]

...A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak.
He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge."
She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg.
He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God Mary ... have you changed your sex?"
"No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm taking a sxxx instead."...