Who pays the recipient fees on an international bank transfer for a purchased item?

[hughiesmum]

I purchased a coat from an Ebay seller on Ebay.de on 6th June ... the payment was direct Bank transfer. This incurred a bank transfer fee that I paid for, in addition to the payment amount for coat. All up I've paid $290.00. The seller emailed a day after the transfer to complain that I had taken advantage of the European Banking system because they assumed I had sent money without paying for the transfer fee. He/she accused me of shortpaying them by $22.00 for the coat because a transfer fee had been taken out of the payment amount when it landed in their account. He/she demanded that I make an additional payment to compensate for this fee. The fact is the seller's Bank had imposed a $22.00 transfer fee on his/her account as a matter of due course. When I contacted my own bank to ask who's responsible for these transfer fees I was told there are sending fees (paid for by me and deducted by my bank) and receiving fees (to be paid for by the seller and presumably deducted by their own bank). I then messaged the seller to advise i would not be paying additional money for the coat as i would have to pay more international money transfer fees to achieve this petty outcome. I also mentioned I think they are responsible for the final receiving fee on their bank account and ought to pay it. I asked that they cancel the purchase if they weren't willing to pay for the final fee. His/her following response was highhanded and nasty... he/she accused me of changing my mind about the purchase, he/she told me i misunderstood their obligations to the transaction because they weren't a professional seller/trader and somehow this absolved them from having to honour the transaction including returning my money, or sending the item until I've made another payment to pay for the bank fees. I'm not feeling too confident about this outcome... And i can't get EBay help with this matter because I made the payment outside of the relatively safe and accountable domain of Paypal or credit card transaction.

I'd be appreciative of any feedback or helpful advice relating to this matter.

[phorum_junkie*]

One of four things is going to happen. The seller is going to relent and send your item (not likely). The seller is not going to do anything but keep your payment and the item and there is no way you can get your money back (fairly likely).  You will send the extra and the seller will send your item (possible).  You will send the extra and the seller will keep the original payment, the extra payment and the item and laugh all the way to the bank to withdraw your cash.  All could have been avoided had you not suffered a complete brain fog and used Paypal. 

In answer to your question I have no idea what to suggest, all you can do is take your pick, hope for a good outcome and never use bank transfer again especially for an overseas payment.