@papermoon.ladywrote:
The problem is that not all sellers are the same. Some actually seem to wish to be contacted early if an item has not arrived. Occasionally I have seen neg fb indicating that an item had not arrived and the seller replied "Why did you not contact me immediately?"
A feedback response like that usually indicates the neg was left without contact - it's actually quote common for buyers to leave feedback as a way of notifying sellers of problems, either that or they just can't be bothered working with the seller to resolve a post-transaction issue, so you'll see it most often left for cheap, readily available items.
Timing of contact about a non-arrival issue can seem tricky - contact the seller too early and they might be put off side from not allowing enough time, contact at a much later stage and they may wonder why you waited so long.
Personally, if it's a domestic order sent regular mail (not express), I appreciate it if the buyer waits at least a week, but contacts me around the 2 week mark as by that stage it's rare for a package to turn up (it does still happen, but the chances are lower every day after that point). International orders I prefer they wait the same kind of timeframes I do (3-4 weeks, since I can't make any real enquiries with Aus Post until then, again unless it was an express package).
That's not set in stone, as it can also be circumstantial. I'll surely raise an eyebrow and so forth if someone contacts me after 3 days, but I will also feel frustration if someone contacts me after a couple of weeks but mentions something like they needed it by the day they contacted me, as then my options to help are significantly affected and limited, but at the end of the day, timing isn't anywhere near as important as approach.
I have one regular who lives relatively local to me so usually gets items the day after I post. Since I post on Sundays most weekends, often they'll get an order on the Monday. One time they contacted me on Tuesday, worried that something had gone wrong (item had been posted on Sunday, as normal). She wasn't rude, accusatory, or demanding, or anything like that, just seemed genuinely concerned and curious. In the end she reprimanded herself for being so quick to worry, everything was friendly and polite, and I never felt any concern etc over her contacting me about it, rather I actually understand that anomalies can cause anxiety, because they do for me as well sometimes, but her attitude meant I was happy to help and provide more info (package arrived on the Wednesday).
On the flip side, if a buyer has waited a week or two but just sends a message that contains a few words (eg "I never got this ?? ", or "Still waiting", both of which are verbatim genuine messages received from buyers), most of the time when I get one of those, I sit at my desk, staring at the screen, blinking slowly and resisting the urge to shrug. o.O By which I mean it doesn't immediately inspire good relations and a willingness to assist. I respond to those and offer the same assistance, but it's often more perfunctory, and I'm less likely to go above and beyond to try and help, like sending replacements immediately via express.
I'm not trying to suggest sellers (or maybe just this one 
), are delicate creatures that need to be approached with caution lest they be set off, just that it can do wonders simply to include a "Hi" in a message (things like that are increasingly absent in messages these days), and even more if you start out by advising the situation, mentioning the concern, and asking if they can provide any further info or check into it with the postal service. It shows the seller you're not blaming them, just asking for their help. (If they then are not willing to help, then of course they can be blamed, as it were).
