Had my son's 21st. --- is this normal now adays??

[tiggywink92]

Hi had my sons 21st.  Posted out formal invitations stating dinner, drinks and alcohol provided.  Spent a fortune on the party.  Out of 60 there was nearly 20 that never got back even with another friendly text. 

around 35 kids came.  What got me is only a handful of kids actually gave him anything.  Most came empty handed even some of his close friends.  I dont know but i find that blimmin rude its not the money or presents but gosh wouldnt you want to bless your friend with even something small??  I would never go to any party without anything.  My kids would never go to a party without anything.  My son spends around $70 when he goes to partys.

THEN only a handful of kids actually thanked us for having them.  Most walked right past us and said nothing.  REALLY doesnt parents teach kids manners anymore????  No wonder my kids friends parents rave how well mannered my kids are.  THey would NEVER not go upto the parents to thank them.  How hard is it???   Needed to vent as i dont want to say anything to my son as he did enjoy the party but felt for him that most people cant even think to even give him a $10 present.

[davidc4430]

sounds about normal, a fair percentage of young people today are poorly brought up.

but you should be counting your blessings none of them texted the partys time and date to every low life in driving distance, lots of 21st birthday partys turn into massive drunken fights with dozens of crashers turning up unanounced.

[icyfroth]

the times they are a-changin'

Sad isn't it that plain good manners are going by the wayside, isn't it?

[jvharrison]

Ooaks chemo is a pain in the neck n the a for starters horrible bloody journey .

Waves to everyone missy has arrived

[tiggywink92]

yes i am glad we had no gate crashers. But we have brought our children up with good morals so i knew most of the kids would behave, only had one guy rock up drunk and throwing up.

You can tell which children have had good parenting at home when they came with something and even shook my husband and my hand and thanked us so much for the food and oh my goodness we had so much food:-)  But i just dont get it when we were young we would never go with nothing to our friends parties.  I just feel like some of his friends that come over alot and we spend alot of money getting take away or feeding  them etc to come with nothing made me so dam angry that i feel like being taken for granted.

[kopenhagen5]

Yes a lot of young'uns don't care much and haven't been taught manners these days.

A little respect doesn't cost anything.

Laziness of their parents probably.

Good on you for spending time nurturing your ducklings.

I hope they are already learning which friends are worthy friends.

But on the other hand, if yours are anything like the way my sister and I were, we naively invited a lot of people we shouldn't have simply because we thought they were like us. It taught us to be more selective.

(waves back to jvh) 

[jvharrison]

Sorry twiggy wrong thread.

Some people have no manners.

[tiggywink92]

but even some of my daughters friends that is close to my son that are nice girls came with nothing.  they have good parents but gosh i would crack if i knew my kids go somewhere and use parents up grrr. One girl even texted me what my son wanted and i said even something small is fine but came with nothing.  Why ask and then come empty handed.  I just feel sorry for my son as if you really treasured someones friendship you would want to get something. 

[not_for_sale2024]

---

@icyfroth wrote:

the times they are a-changin'

---

Are they?

"The children now love luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders. Children are now tyrants, not servants of the households. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers".

Socrates (469-399 B.C.)

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

Hope your son had a great birthday!

Re the generation- I'm not sure it can be blamed wholly on their age..the significance of turning 21 is not what it used to be..My son turned 21 last year and didn't want a party..and lots of his friends didn't have them either..

Still, to be guests and behave like that is ignorant..I can understand your feelings..

( A few years ago, my partner had a birthday dinner for about 30 people and as we were in Sydney, invited my boss- he's the same age..It was at a beautiful restaurant, and my boss turned up late, without a gift..I heard later from a colleague that when she asked him what gift did he give my partner, that he was surprised that it was expected! She even said- but as a guest, didn't you take chocolates or a bottle of champagne? 

I thought it showed how ignorant he was, and how thoughtless, and began to lose respect for him- I no longer work for him, and won't ever again. His loss.)

Just curious, what did your son make of the behaviour?