Love thy neighbour. How far should it go?

[kengillard]

I and 2 other neighbours have been made ....by default....  responsible for our neighbours health.  She's been sent home from hospital after 10 days, having spent a day and a night in the rain on the concrete outside her back door. After I found her, I called the ambulance who tried to get her to come with them....refused...police were called...  had her stomach drained of fluid.   Sent home on Friday last...had another fall on Saturday....went to see her this morning..she had another fall and ambulance took her to hospital again.

Because she's so stubborn and negative...72.....they can't help her unless she agrees....meanwhile they send her home to an empty house............cos she told them "my friend and my neighbours will look after me."    

It's ridiculous....we are not responsible for her welfare.  she has a son up north that she refuses to be notified as her next of kin. 

So that leaves us 3...should she come home again.  I'm  looking after her 2 dogs and others are feeding and watering her geese etc..

Surely there's some agency or other that can step in?   

Any suggestions anyone.  I don't mind helping but this is getting ridiculous.  How long does she have to lie out/in before someone finds her (prob me)...before anyone will do anything definite to save her from herself?

[catsnknots]

LOL.. she wanted you to mow the lawn. 

For her to call you like she has it shows she expects you to be her carer. You need to tell her that you can't be that and that she needs to organise professional help. 

You have enough on your plate to take on her care... 

[kengillard]

she said she might ring her son........don't believe a word of it!

I sent an email  to our local member....we'll see....I've asked for her sons phone no.   

I'm going to try and gently wean her away from me.....4 phone calls so far today.!

[jvharrison]

Hugs tough times for you and the stress you dont need.........wishing that you get some info re the son today:)x

[happyroo_bunji]

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@kengillard wrote:

she said she might ring her son........don't believe a word of it!

I sent an email  to our local member....we'll see....I've asked for her sons phone no.   

I'm going to try and gently wean her away from me.....4 phone calls so far today.!

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Gentle weaning might not work.  You might have to be brutal.

You need to look after yourself, you do not need the added stress of this woman harassing you.  Four phone calls in one day is harassment

[rabbitearbandicoot]

I think if you call the Police and tell them your concerns - ask THEM to contact the son and tell him of your concerns for his mother - ask them to ask HIM to ring YOU - NOT his mum because she will just fob him off and say she is managing. You can then tell him the problems she is having and that HE must do something.

[not_an_eloi]

this be headin' straight at  a guardianship tribunal.

[lind9650]

Gilly, I agree with all the others. Had my problems with my own mother. She was not an alcoholic, she never drank alcohol, but once dementia started she became very difficult and demanding. Refused outside help of any kind, but that is another story.

Please if your nighbours son lives in Cairns, ring the Police there to find him and tell him that his mother is in danger of herself.

Gilly, you have enough problems of your own and nobody can make you responsible for another person without your consent. Ask the Hospital who gave them the right to assume that you are willing to care for her and name you as a carer for this person, before asking you if what the neighbour claims is correct?

Please be firm and stick by your word. Being a good neighbour does not mean to become a slave to someones back and call.

Erica ♥

[azureline**]

Excellent strategy Gill, hope it all works out for you. I don't agree she is selfish (without knowing her) I do believe that she thinks she is ok. There may well be some issues with her mental health no matter what the cause.

You are a good neighbour.

[cherry*135]

A step in the right direction her going to the GP with a letter from the hospital. I hope the Dr gets a true picture of her circumstances...and home help/carers are arranged for her.

[green.fields]

You can offer all the help in the world to some people and they will refuse it, they either think they do not need it or they see it as an intrusion or they think you are trying to take over their life. I am living it right now.

I wish you the best Kengillard it is an extremely difficult situation.