Love thy neighbour. How far should it go?

[kengillard]

I and 2 other neighbours have been made ....by default....  responsible for our neighbours health.  She's been sent home from hospital after 10 days, having spent a day and a night in the rain on the concrete outside her back door. After I found her, I called the ambulance who tried to get her to come with them....refused...police were called...  had her stomach drained of fluid.   Sent home on Friday last...had another fall on Saturday....went to see her this morning..she had another fall and ambulance took her to hospital again.

Because she's so stubborn and negative...72.....they can't help her unless she agrees....meanwhile they send her home to an empty house............cos she told them "my friend and my neighbours will look after me."    

It's ridiculous....we are not responsible for her welfare.  she has a son up north that she refuses to be notified as her next of kin. 

So that leaves us 3...should she come home again.  I'm  looking after her 2 dogs and others are feeding and watering her geese etc..

Surely there's some agency or other that can step in?   

Any suggestions anyone.  I don't mind helping but this is getting ridiculous.  How long does she have to lie out/in before someone finds her (prob me)...before anyone will do anything definite to save her from herself?

[catsnknots]

If she is an alcoholic maybe her son wants nothing to do with her. People with addiction can be not the nicest of people to their family or family have just had enough of all the bad behaviour and won't step in to help. 

[the_hawk*]

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@kengillard wrote:

Well.   she came home at 8 last night...she's on the DVA Pension so they will pay for it. Rang me at 8.45 to tell me she was home...good thing I was still awake.   Rang at 7.30 this morning to tell me "she was still in the land of the living" and had been ordered to take herself and a letter from the hospital doctor to her doctor first thing this morning.   So I''m taking her.....when she rings me and tells me the time of the appointment.  Also told me she was going to mow her front yard with a push mower....I said if you can't walk how can you do that (wants us to pick up a walking stick and a walker from the chemist) and she replied she'd use the mower as a walker!  I think reality is not included here.  Am going to try and find her son today.  First stop the police...not holding out much hope tho.

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Gilly read youre own post as if someone else had written itr and then write a reply to it and see what advise you would give someone else.

You are enabeling her

[kengillard]

gently gently not catchee monkey Hawk.

her other 'friend' and i refused politely...didn't offer....to take her to the doc today... she rang me at. 2.30 to tell me she was at the supermarket...had got a taxi..DVA one.  which means it costs her nothing.....so that's taken care of today.....the hospital fully expects her to be back there within the week.  I certainly hope so! one day at a time.   still working on contacting her son.  don't think he wnts to be contacted.   someone suggested I go into her house while she's not there and try and find his number?   isn't that called trespassing?

[cherry*135]

I don't think I would do that Gill.. enter her house and poke around looking for her son's address/phone no.. She may not even have it written down anywhere and you would have to poke through a lot of stuff to look for it. Bit different if it was in an obvious place.. like written down near the phone.

You would be best to call the police if she gets to the stage where it is not safe for her to be living at home alone and if she ever refuses to go back to hospital when required.. and let them deal with contacting next of kin.

[the_hawk*]

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@am*3 wrote:

I don't think I would do that Gill.. enter her house and poke around looking for her son's address/phone no.. She may not even have it written down anywhere and you would have to poke through a lot of stuff to look for it. Bit different if it was in an obvious place.. like written down near the phone.

You would be best to call the police if she gets to the stage where it is not safe for her to be living at home alone and if she ever refuses to go back to hospital when required.. and let them deal with contacting next of kin.

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I agree and they can make her go and get weklfare agencies involved and the hospital is more likely to do their job if the police are involved

[rabbitearbandicoot]

Gill, you have mail - I think that is the right phone number for him - please let me know

[topsidesoul]

Aside from this is this person a good person? yes?

Well think of if this was your parent or sister or daughter......sometimes  you have to do these things as a neighbour, like it or not.

Could be worse, your neighbour colud be playing loud music at 2 am, doing burnouts in your street and screaming up and down the street at odd hours.

[kengillard]

that's all very well.....if he doesn't want to know about it..(which we don't know)  where does that leave us????NOT GOOD.

anyway.  onwards and upwards...may have a lead to her son.

[lind9650]

Good luck, Gilly. I hope this burden is taken off your shoulders as quickly as possible.

(((((HUGS))))) Erica ♥

[kengillard]

yes Mr. Rabbit!!!  thank you HEAPS...Just had a phone call from the wife...daughter in law.  she's going to talk to son and get back to me. ........................what a relief!! thank god someone other than me and friend is now taking responsibility.