Wow, I understand sellers get spooked by the idea of being dinged for slow postage, but sending a random bodysuit is just as likely to get you into hot water in my opinion. As someone else said, that was never going to work.
A drop down menu as clarry suggests would be the best way to go, even if it costs a bit more.
If you don't want to do that, then I would say this is where you need to have a short sentence in caps or larger and in colour, right at the start of the ad, to say buyers need to contact you after purchase to let you know size and colour.
Personally, I would never have a default or random size/colour that I sent out. You can perhaps do that with beach bags or that sort of thing, but not body suits.
You say she answered after you had sent the item. Did she answer before she actually received the item though or did she message you only after it arrived?
I think you do need to offer an exchange in either case but if she answered before receiving the item, I really think you need to offer the return postage too.
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