Take Care Good People

[clubesquire]

It’s gets sillier from here for us. It’ll be like Grand Central from tonight on. The joys of a large extended family 😃.

It’s time. 2018 was important for us, especually with online selling, and like everyone we made  those few mistakes and got ourselves into the odd bit of strife, but nothing too dramatic - just stressful at this end, because I’m an eternal ‘fretter.’

It could have been much, much worse, but for these forums, the people in them (some very special people), and the occasional PM from some who could see us perhaps heading down the low road. I did get cut off at the pass a couple of times thankfully, and thank you!

So, it’s with lots of respect and some lovely warm feelings of having been well cared for by ‘Good People’  that I now wish you all a happy, noisy and fun filled Xmas with those close to you and good friends. Play up like Holy Harry - enjoy! I also hope not too many of you are out on our roads. If so, please be extra cautious - there is no rush.

Thanks Good People 😊. Have a bonza time over the festive season, and be kind to each other 👍.

Melina, Barry, Giorgio.

[justcruising48]

I usually get advice from here and usually do not give much advice ( leave that to the experts) and for that I thank all you good people. But for you and Tippy to be sharing your experiences here is very touching,and inspirational  and gets us all back to reality, and shows  the ebay community is all about sharing and caring for one another. I really thank you for that, and am praying that all will be well. 

[*tippy*toes*]

I'm not really a huggy person either, but I'll take that one! I'm so glad to hear Mrs Chameleon has joined a support group. They really do make a huge difference. Even when some don't have a good outcome, you still get so much out of the group. You cheer the successes (like someone reaching 5 years, or having another clear scan), and you mourn the losses. No one understands like someone who has already walked in those shoes, especially if disfiguring surgery is involved. They will be able to tell her stuff that even the doctors don't know.

We don't have any local support groups (there are only around 2,000 people in Australia like Mr Tippy, and only 5 that live locally), but belong to a really great Facebook group. It's worldwide, so there's always someone there to help if you are having a dose of the horrors at 3am....which in the early days, there were lots of those moments! Mr Tippy doesn't belong to it.

Mr Tippy had his surgery in the city, 4 hours away. He was in hospital for 2 weeks. I couldn't stay the whole time, as life still happens. He couldn't talk to me at that point any way! Then he was home for 2 weeks and then had to go back to the city for chemo and radiotherapy (6 doses of chemo and 30 hits with the microwave). I couldn't stay there with him, again due to life still happening, so I'd take him down Monday and go back and pick him up Friday to come home for the weekend. 

It was so hard seeing him get sicker and sicker each time I went to pick him up. When I'd take him back, the first 2 weeks I'd go and get some groceries for him. As the weeks progressed, the amount of groceries reduced, whereby by the 5th week, he wasn't eating at all (radiotherapy on the neck, plus the chemo makes everything taste really bad). He was living full time on a liquid diet (Ensure). By the time he came home after the 6th week, he was sleeping 18+ hours a day.

Even as he deteriorated, he was still able to make jokes. Chemo was referred to as "Dr Chen's poison Pina Colada", which the nurses throught was great, and adopted it. Radiation was "Dr Cooper's cooking show", which involved being microwaved and barbequed until well done. 

It's hard for the carers because there isn't always the support out there for us. If you are on Facebook, I'm sure you could find cancer carers support pages, maybe even onces specific to your type. The carer page I belong to is specific to My Tippy's condition, as is the main support group. The point is, you need support through this too. Friends and loved ones mean well, and will bend over backwards to help, but there are some things they can't help with. Only others in the same boat can.

2.5 years down the track, we're doing OK. Mr Tippy has a great sounding voice. It sounds as normal as anyone else's, but different to his old voice. There are times I still want to stab him, so life is about as normal as it can be for now. Next specialist visit is in Feb, followed by a PET scan, so the results of that could change everything. Have to stay positive though.

Keep laughing! It's the best medicine.

[chameleon54]

Thanks again for the advice tippy.

The only consolation if you can call it that , is that I probably went through the roller coaster ride of becoming a carer when my wife lost her eyesight. It was pretty tough as a young guy in a remote country town with a couple of little kids and carer responsabilities as well. The wife had her own business at the time, so I had to take over running that as well as my own business and keep the house and kids going at the same time. . While it is common for older people to take on a carer role, it seemed like I was on my own as a young family man, going through the experience. I,m sure there are others, but I never met any of them or found any suitable support services so we just had to work it out as we went along.

It took time, but eventually the wife came to terms with her changed circumstances, embraced the services that where on offer and went on to become more independant and capable than many sighted people. She has worked as a guinie pig for new blind technologies that are being trialed, adopted talking computer and portable GPS systems, is on her third guide dog, volunteers extensively in the disability sector, teaching other visually impaired people how to use assisted technologies, sits on a local council sub commitee as a disability advocate and spent many years travelling to the city by herself on the bus to perform music for dances for intelectually disabled people.

While she is very capable, I still need to regularly act as a sighted guide, read stuff, do my share of shopping and house chores and act as " soccer mum " or taxi driver.  Heck I even volunteered as a netball coach for young netballers with my daughter, so that she could have that experience and not miss out on things other girls where doing..

So the cancer thing is just an extension of our existing circumstances rather than something completely new and I already have strategies in place to keep my sanity. I regularly buy a coffee and toastie from my local deli and spend an hour reading the paper at a lookout overlooking the sea or load the dogs onto the ute on warm summer evenings, packing a quiet ale and " checking the sheep ", which usually entails setting the dogs free at one of dams on the farm to swim and play ( and run up to me and shake the water off ) while the sun goes down. Very peaceful.

Anyway, life is full of challenges, so I guess we will just embrace this one and try to make the best of it.