One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

[4c4sale]

This is a seriously undertold story, and this website is a good place to learn the truth about the staggering number of male victims of domestic abuse in Australia:

http://www.oneinthree.com.au/

Men are MUCH less likely (three times less likely it seems) to report being battered and attacked by their female partners than women who are attacked by men, and further, men have less support if they do speak out.

Men may face scorn, derision and disbelief when they report being abused.

If one considers the vastly lower reporting of these incidents by men, and combines this with the higher number of women who abuse children, it arises that women - not men - are the majority domestic abusers in Australia, Great Britain and the United States.

Time to start spreading this truth, and working for change on BOTH sides of the gender equation.

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/what-men-can-do-to-help-stop-domestic-violence.php

WHAT MEN CAN DO TO HELP STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE  

While men are responsible for the majority of domestic violence, it is important that we recognize the majority of men are not abusive

in their relationships. 

Non-abusive men may not realize it but they have the potential to make an enormous difference in helping to stop domestic violence

and sexual assault. 

Many men will come into contact with domestic violence in their daily lives.  This can be through the workplace if they are a

magistrate, judge, solicitor, police officer, doctor, nurse, social worker, psychologist, pastor, priest or crisis support worker. Others may

come into contact with domestic violence in their personal lives:  it might be their neighbour, a friend, a family member or an

acquaintance who is affected by domestic violence.

 There are many opportunities for men to support female victims by speaking up about other men’s violence. 

Some are listed below:

Be a positive role model to other men.

If you know somebody who is abusive toward their partner tell them their behaviour is not okay and they need to get help to stop. 

Be a positive role model to children. If you know a child who is without a positive adult male figure you can help to provide consistent support and help the child to make a safety plan. 

Speak out against domestic violence.  This can have a powerful effect in helping change attitudes and social norms that support and perpetuate abuse. 

Take on a leadership role in your community, e.g. sports club, university, neighbourhood association or church group, and use this opportunity to speak out against violence in the home.

 Understand how your own attitudes and actions may perpetuate sexism and violence. Confront sexist, racist, homophobic and all other prejudiced remarks or jokes. 

Don’t buy magazines, movies, music or watch television programs that portray women in a sexually degrading or violent manner. Organise or join a group to raise awareness of and work against domestic violence. This might be at university, TAFE, your workplace or among friends. 

Reach out and show support to someone you know is experiencing domestic violence.  Gently ask her if you can help.

Never put the blame on the victim of domestic violence. 

Participate in local community events to raise awareness of domestic violence and join the white ribbon campaign.

[polksaladallie]

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@punch*drunk wrote:

I don't understand the relevance of homicide figures as a reflection of whether women or men are the main perpetrators of domestic violence. Violence is not always physical, in fact I believe most of it is not, and I would imagine the percentage of domestic violence that led to death is so ridiculously small as to not even factor into any figures.

I doubt we will ever know the true figures of men v women when it comes to domestic violence, its so much harder for a victim to speak about and report psychological abuse. Physical scars can be seen and there's automatic sympathy for the victim. People that have been psychologically abused have different scars and its much harder to make people understand the horror that they have been through. Its hard for the psychologically abused to put into words what they have experienced because they have been so damaged, yet to access services they have to rehash the whole horrible story over and over. It doesn't really surprise me that people are afraid and embarrassed to seek help, men in particular.

This is just my opinion but I think men would be the main perpetrators of physical abuse, but I think there would be a much higher rate of psychologically abused men than most would think.

---

You are joking?  One woman each week in Australia?  Ridiculously small?   If it was one man each week, there would be an outcry and money poured into a solution.

[punch*drunk · Accepted solution]

You are joking?  One woman each week in Australia?  Ridiculously small?   If it was one man each week, there would be an outcry and money poured into a solution.

Are you taking me out of conext on purpose?

Just in case you're not and you truly dont understand what I mean, millions of people are affected by domestice vilolence, 52 women dying as aresult of domestic violence is of course tragic, but its so smalll a percentage of the overall amount that it couldnt be relied upon as data to back up whether men or women are the main perpertrators.

I realise I'm not as articulate as others here, but I'm pretty sure most people could read my post and not think I'm trivialising the deaths of those women.

[thegoblinswillgetu]

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@4c4sale wrote:

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@lealta wrote:

Gosh, I'd never think to put a joke like that in a thread about violent crimes committed against any group, be they men, women, gay people, etc.

Gosh, then how do you feel about someone posting a funny video about a woman clocking her husband with a frying pan, or making money off of "wiffle pans".  Or how about posting a video titled "Can't Fit Her Limbs in the Fridge"?  I know...nary a word spoken.  What's the word they have for that??? 

---

You find a woman hitting her husband with a frying pan funny?

---

That is not the point she was making and you know it.

A wife hitting her husband with a frying pan is as funny as a husband telling his wife her place is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.  Any of that ring a bell?

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

Homicide is the worst possible outcome from Domestic Violence.

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

Domestic violence is a significant issue in our community.

It is the most common factor contributing to homelessness among women and their children.

It also plays a major role in the nation’s homicides with most involving one or more victims who have a family or domestic relationship

with the offender.

The AIC has identified key issues relating to domestic violence, has recommended specific areas that can be targeted to prevent future

incidents and has identified areas requiring future research.

The AIC website also offers links to a wide range of practical guides for victims and others affected by this form of violence.

[4c4sale]

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@polksaladallie wrote:

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@punch*drunk wrote:

I don't understand the relevance of homicide figures as a reflection of whether women or men are the main perpetrators of domestic violence. Violence is not always physical, in fact I believe most of it is not, and I would imagine the percentage of domestic violence that led to death is so ridiculously small as to not even factor into any figures.

I doubt we will ever know the true figures of men v women when it comes to domestic violence, its so much harder for a victim to speak about and report psychological abuse. Physical scars can be seen and there's automatic sympathy for the victim. People that have been psychologically abused have different scars and its much harder to make people understand the horror that they have been through. Its hard for the psychologically abused to put into words what they have experienced because they have been so damaged, yet to access services they have to rehash the whole horrible story over and over. It doesn't really surprise me that people are afraid and embarrassed to seek help, men in particular.

This is just my opinion but I think men would be the main perpetrators of physical abuse, but I think there would be a much higher rate of psychologically abused men than most would think.

---

You are joking?  One woman each week in Australia?  Ridiculously small?   If it was one man each week, there would be an outcry and money poured into a solution.

---

It's one man every 10 days.

No outcry.

[4c4sale]

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@siggie-reported-by-alarmists wrote:

http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/what-men-can-do-to-help-stop-domestic-violence.php

WHAT MEN CAN DO TO HELP STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE  

While men are responsible for the majority of domestic violence, it is important that we recognize the majority of men are not abusive

in their relationships. 

Non-abusive men may not realize it but they have the potential to make an enormous difference in helping to stop domestic violence

and sexual assault. 

Many men will come into contact with domestic violence in their daily lives.  This can be through the workplace if they are a

magistrate, judge, solicitor, police officer, doctor, nurse, social worker, psychologist, pastor, priest or crisis support worker. Others may

come into contact with domestic violence in their personal lives:  it might be their neighbour, a friend, a family member or an

acquaintance who is affected by domestic violence.

 There are many opportunities for men to support female victims by speaking up about other men’s violence. 

Some are listed below:

Be a positive role model to other men.

If you know somebody who is abusive toward their partner tell them their behaviour is not okay and they need to get help to stop. 

Be a positive role model to children. If you know a child who is without a positive adult male figure you can help to provide consistent support and help the child to make a safety plan. 

Speak out against domestic violence.  This can have a powerful effect in helping change attitudes and social norms that support and perpetuate abuse. 

Take on a leadership role in your community, e.g. sports club, university, neighbourhood association or church group, and use this opportunity to speak out against violence in the home.

 Understand how your own attitudes and actions may perpetuate sexism and violence. Confront sexist, racist, homophobic and all other prejudiced remarks or jokes. 

Don’t buy magazines, movies, music or watch television programs that portray women in a sexually degrading or violent manner. Organise or join a group to raise awareness of and work against domestic violence. This might be at university, TAFE, your workplace or among friends. 

Reach out and show support to someone you know is experiencing domestic violence.  Gently ask her if you can help.

Never put the blame on the victim of domestic violence. 

Participate in local community events to raise awareness of domestic violence and join the white ribbon campaign.

---

Women perpetrate the majority of dometic violence, and women's abuse of men is the topic here.

But while the first half of the posted OpEd is false, the second half is true.

The majority of men - and women - are not abusive.

[4c4sale]

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@thegoblinswillgetu wrote:

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@4c4sale wrote:

---

@lealta wrote:

Gosh, I'd never think to put a joke like that in a thread about violent crimes committed against any group, be they men, women, gay people, etc.

Gosh, then how do you feel about someone posting a funny video about a woman clocking her husband with a frying pan, or making money off of "wiffle pans".  Or how about posting a video titled "Can't Fit Her Limbs in the Fridge"?  I know...nary a word spoken.  What's the word they have for that??? 

---

You find a woman hitting her husband with a frying pan funny?

---

That is not the point she was making and you know it.

A wife hitting her husband with a frying pan is as funny as a husband telling his wife her place is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.  Any of that ring a bell?

---

Neither strike me as particularly funny, but as one can result in permanent injury or death, I find that one particularly disturbing.

[polksaladallie]

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@4c4sale wrote:

It's one man every 10 days.

No outcry.

---

Not in a domestic violence situation and not in Australia.