making babies.....

[janeababe]

A kind of strange - feeling -story......

A young lady I know, (via a very dear friend of mine)  has announced she is pregnant.

She is 27yrs old and has one child aged around 7yrs old. 

Proudly a single mum, and she is doing the best she can.

Nothing to shirk at there....... all good.

Ok, here is where the shirking comes in.....

She advertised on a *baby making website* to get pregnant.

She lists herslef as wanting to get pregnant, no-strings attached, baby daddy will have no hold over the baby and will not be financially responsible after successful conception!

THEN.....  she receives emails, sorts outs the yes/no/maybe's and then it goes on....

She meets up with the YES potentials, has *meetings*   I guess a meet and greet type scenario, and then makes a final decision after that.

The man she chose, was 53!

53!!!!!!!  

My thoughts here, are:   Is this a way for older men/women to get their rocks off with much younger women/men?
I dont know, but I feel a bit erky about this sort of *business*. 

Perhaps its me not being open-minded enough to accept the situation of current/future breeding rights, and while both parties were consentual, does it make it right?

I didnt even know these sorts of websites even exsisted... talk about big business!!

That being said.... my other very real gripe about this is that Centrelink will be supporting this child too! That DOES *P* ME OFF!
This was planned and not by accident.

am I just getting old and out of touch with the real world now, or is too much to expect for a child to be conveived, where possible, from love...  ?!?!?

Oh and P/S, she is also a submissive in a dom/sub relationship with another guy who is not the baby daddy!  (he does not live with her)

[kopenhagen5]

I don't think you are out of touch and never will be.

There are a lot of things that just shouldn't exist in the world.

The basics haven't changed, giving freedom has. Too much of it, not enough responsibility.

The child deserves better IMO. And not to mention the 7 year old.

I have always thought having children is all about them not the parents and sooo many are ill-prepared.

On the surface I find this person's actions very selfish.

[imastawka]

Sooooo wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to start.

Selfish and irresponsible for a start.

And what about this dom/sub relationship?  How submissive is she, if she can

do this?     And what's worse how will the dominant guy react?

I feel so old and judgemental right now. 

Young ones will probably ask 'what's the problem?'

[lyndal1838]

I could not have put it better myself Stawks.

We obviously belong to a different generation.

[not_for_sale2024]

What bothers me about this is how a person can concoct a situation to get something she wants, and the system/law supports it. It's a clever, well thought out plan. But it's to create life, not catch a man or get rich quick. Maybe I'm old fashion too, but I think life is precious, and creating it with the love required to nurture it, requires something deeper than what this person is investing IMO. I'm sure many people would disagree with me, but maybe that's because they view life differently!

[janeababe]

Look, dont get me wrong, she is a lovely girl, has had a very hard struggle in life with no clear direction and she is doing the best she can.....

that being said, I think she has lost the bloody plot!!

I asked many questions about *her situation* and she was freely answering them and actually encouraged it.

But inside I was just thinking how selfish she was and all of this was about her and her wants not her childs needs or the needs of the child she is currently pregnant with.

Re: Sub/Dom relationship, its purley internet atm (and phone)  They chat twice a day for hours!  He doesnt live in Australia apparently... who bleeding knows...I'm out of touch with all this Kafuffle!!

I just feel that the baby making website glorifies sexual exploit of people who are *desperate*  ...  *willing to do anything* ... *mentally unstable* ....  Inexperienced in sexual relationships* ...  *all of the above*    while enabling much older men to get some *free* sex with much younger women! 
I'd be mortified if she was my daughter..... just mortified. (her mother is not in the picture and her father doesnt care two hoots)

My concern is ..... what happens when this baby wants to know about its father?  how mummy and daddy met? etc...is she going to openly tell the baby that it was an internet order and her daddy is 30 yrs older than mummy?

I realise that people get married of all age groups and age gaps but this is different... there is no love connection here. Its perverted in my opinion.


It makes my skin crawl...........

[lyndal1838]

What puzzles me is that she already has a child and has had a struggle to bring her up properly.  Why would anyone set out to do it all over again.

I was a single mother for a few years....on a Widow's Pension with a baby and a 4 year old.  There is no way on this earth that I would  willingly add another child to the mix....it was bl**dy hard work at times and many times was a juggling act between providing for them financially and being there for them physically.  I was very grateful that my parents were close by and could often be there when I could not.

[chameleon54]

The worlds gone completely mad.

[springyzone]

It's not all good.

It is totally selfish. It is about what she wants.

All about her wants and none of her responsibilities.

And the choice of a 53 year old man? Maybe she just doesn't want him around or able to interfere down the track and she thinks he will likely have carked it in maybe 20 years? I don't know, but an older man is probably not the best bet for the healthiest sperm sample anyway. Statistically speaking.

My concern is

-she expects welfare. I truly think welfare for children should exist for only the first 2 children as far too many people expect society to keep them propped up while they have child after child. I know she is only having her second but she is also only 27-plenty of time to find a decent partner and settle down later.

-children need to know their parents & their family. It can be a deep down hurt that doesn't go away if you take that away from someone. She is setting out to deliberately deprive a child of that heritage. The child has the right to know who his/her father was and a bit about him. Maybe even meet him later on if possible.

[bushies.girl]

Dont think she is doing the "best she can", 'cause if she were, she wouldn't be expecting the taxpayer to financially support herself n her kid/s     .... she would get off her backside n get a job, not be making more kids