Seller refusing to ship item due to dispute

[missbmb]

I purchased an item last week. After communicating quite a lot with the seller prior to buying, she seemed to cease all communication once the payment was made. I acknowledge that I over reacted a little, and was starting to feel wary. She hadn’t replied to numerous messages so I opened a paypal dispute. Immediately after that she contacted me stating she would not ship the item unless I cancelled the dispute. I have apologised to her and told her I don’t feel comfortable with that, as if she doesn’t send the item for some reason I have no means of being refunded. I feel like she is holding me ransom! She has received her payment of AUD$116 so I feel it is unfair of her to do this. I have told her I will close the dispute if the item is shipped. What would you do?

[brerrabbit585]

You've backed the seller into a corner and now it's either you or her. The only thing she can do to protect herself is cancel the sale by refunding your money.

If it was me I'd apologise and say you understand how she feels and that it might be best if she cancels the sale.

Re the messages, if someone sent me multiple messages asking when something would be sent, I'd probably ignore the first one or two if I planned on posting it within a day or two anyway and would just make them wait until I told them I'd posted it. If they kept on asking I'd start to wonder what sort of person I was dealing with and would start to get wary. Not having had that happen, I can't say what I'd do at that point, but if someone really pesters me I'm usually more likely to turn my back on them, like the local woman who was coming to my house to buy stuff but thought I was her personal slave. She'd stand at the door and knock, then she'd ring the phone while she was at the door. I ended up really sick and didn't feel like dragging myself to the door just to tell her I was too sick to drag myself to the door.  She really wants what I've got but now I won't have her near the place and she has to buy it on ebay for a much higher price if she wants it, and I send it through the PO (she's less than a 2-minute walk away).

[springyzone]

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@brerrabbit585 wrote:

You've backed the seller into a corner and now it's either you or her. The only thing she can do to protect herself is cancel the sale by refunding your money.

If it was me I'd apologise and say you understand how she feels and that it might be best if she cancels the sale.

Re the messages, if someone sent me multiple messages asking when something would be sent, I'd probably ignore the first one or two if I planned on posting it within a day or two anyway and would just make them wait until I told them I'd posted it. If they kept on asking I'd start to wonder what sort of person I was dealing with and would start to get wary. Not having had that happen, I can't say what I'd do at that point

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I agree that a cancellation would be the best solution at this stage.

I also agree that if I, as a seller had a few early messages asking about postage, I might ignore them for a day or so till i could reply that yes, it was on its way. Or else I would reply that the parcel was being posted tomorrow (or whenever I did plan to post it).

Leaving everything slide for 5 days though, with no replies and without posting, was asking for trouble, given the seller must have realised she had a touchy customer on her hands.

[brerrabbit585]

When alarm bells start ringing it's not always easy to know what to do and sometimes you have to take time to think about what to do. Perhaps this is what the seller did. They may have been trying to decide whether to cancel the whole thing or go ahead, seeing that people who send multiple messages for the same thing often spell trouble in the long run.

[lyndal1838]

I am not a seller but it is my understanding that posting times are measured in business days.

The 5 days being talked about in the OP includes a weekend so in reality the seller has only been remiss for 3 business days.  Is that so bad that it deserves a dispute?

I am still interested to know what the OP has done in the past to protect themselves from transactions going sour.

[twyngwyn]

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@missbmb wrote:
I purchased an item last week. After communicating quite a lot with the seller prior to buying, she seemed to cease all communication once the payment was made. I acknowledge that I over reacted a little, and was starting to feel wary. She hadn’t replied to numerous messages so I opened a paypal dispute. Immediately after that she contacted me stating she would not ship the item unless I cancelled the dispute. I have apologised to her and told her I don’t feel comfortable with that, as if she doesn’t send the item for some reason I have no means of being refunded. I feel like she is holding me ransom! She has received her payment of AUD$116 so I feel it is unfair of her to do this. I have told her I will close the dispute if the item is shipped. What would you do?

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None of the above 😞

[brerrabbit585]

We don't know for sure that a weekend was part of the five days. OP may have waited a few days before posting here. We may not have the whole story in other areas either.

If the seller had a long handling time they probably felt no need to answer when they'd post it. If someone has a long handling time there's a fair chance it means they're busy and don't get to the PO very often, so answering messages only puts them further behind, and if they don't actually know when they'll get to post it there's not a lot of point replying. Yes, it's polite to do so, but it's impolite to ask the same question several times so why should a seller have to be polite?

[k1ooo-slr-sales]

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@4channel wrote:

   . . . . An associate of mine has been ripped off and lied to like you wouldn't believe. Yes, so it's understandable.

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well, couldn’t possibly be as bad as one case I read on these boards once.  The buyer got a turntable (or similar item) at a good price from a seller in the UK.  Then, if can you believe it, the seller says the item got damaged and they threw it out with the rubbish.  The buyer got a refund, but his associate here in Australia went to the trouble of finding out which council area the seller lived in and phoned the council to find out the garbage collection day for the seller’s address.  Can you believe that?  That a person here in Australia would go to such lengths just to find out if the seller’s story stacked up?

Bottom line is that the buyer didn’t end up getting the item . . . . and we found out the lengths some members will go to when they suspect a gross injustice has been perpetrated by an unscrupulous seller!

[springyzone]

I think there is wrong  on both sides of this.

The buyer for probably jumping in too quickly with queries but the seller also, for ignoring queries for over 5 days and for not posting the item in that time.

But given the present situation, that a paypal dispute has been opened and the buyer now has no other recourses-cannot open another ebay or paypal dispute if she now closes the case (before receiving the goods) then I am a bit surprised by the seller's reaction.

I've been wondering what the reaction would be if we had a seller come in here and ask the question in reverse-I have been hassled by a buyer about posting an item and okay, I was a bit slack and didn't answer her queries straight off and okay, it's been over 5 days and I haven't posted the item yet but she has opened a paypal claim before the ETA has even passed, what should I do? Scared to post now in case she ends up with the money and the goods!

Can't say for sure, but I suspect a few people here would say- Never let a thing drag out till ebay or paypal has to step in. Cancel, refund, block.

So I'm not sure why the seller in this case has not done that. It isn't reasonable to expect a buyer to cancel a case when they don't have their money back or the goods. $117 is a fair bit at risk.

[brerrabbit585]

I'm not wanting to argue with you. Under normal circumstances, you're right in that the seller would be best to cancel the transaction straight away.

BUT... the op hasn't told us they asked to cancel, only that they'll close the dispute if the item is shipped, ie. they want the item rather than a refund.

We don't know the seller's situation either, whether they were an occasional seller or a full-time seller. For all we know they could have ended up with the flu and been too sick to do anything until they were forced to answer the paypal case. Not all sellers who don't answer straight away are sloppy sellers, sometimes life just gets in the way.

[springyzone]

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@brerrabbit585 wrote:
I'm not wanting to argue with you. Under normal circumstances, you're right in that the seller would be best to cancel the transaction straight away.

BUT... the op hasn't told us they asked to cancel, only that they'll close the dispute if the item is shipped, ie. they want the item rather than a refund.

We don't know the seller's situation either, whether they were an occasional seller or a full-time seller. For all we know they could have ended up with the flu and been too sick to do anything until they were forced to answer the paypal case. Not all sellers who don't answer straight away are sloppy sellers, sometimes life just gets in the way.

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I'm really sorry if it came across as I was arguing with anyone on the boards here as it absolutely was never meant that way.

I too gathered that the buyer wanted the item rather than a cancellation and you're right, we don't know the seller's circumstances.

But I guess what i was seeing was a stalemate situation.

The buyer has paid for an item.

She said she was not willing to cancel the dispute till the item was sent.

The seller has said she is not willing to send the item till the disupte is cancelled.

There seems to be a lack of trust on both sides, which is understandable. But unless one of them backs down, I am not sure how it can be resolved except perhaps by a cancellation or the paypal dispute becoming a claim.