Boyfriend's mother trying to get me to join her religion...

[krylekathe1]

Long time reader, first time poster.

I have a lovely boyfriend of about 6 months, he comes from a family background of Jehovah's witnesses. Whist he doesn't practice this religion himself, he does believe a lot of the core beliefs. I am from a catholic background, and quite happy with that.

My boyfriends mother is very nice, but clearly wants me to join, she keeps asking me to come learn the bible etc. I politely decline.

I'm not wanting to be rude, but how can I say very clearly that I am not interested, nor will I ever be interested in becoming a Jehovah's Witness, I am quite happy with my beliefs and she needs to stop. It's starting to stress me out. I'm sick of hearing her bag out the Catholics, cause as far as I can tell she's never been to a catholic service in her life anyway. I'm not trying to convert her!

[amber-eyed-girl]

If you are happy with your religion, then diplomatically tell her your beliefs are important to you. If it's stressing you it's not going to be good to not say something gently sooner rather than later. It's nice you have a lovely boyfriend, if you think it's best run a few thoughts past him before you say anything to his mother. Only you will be able to know if that's the best way to start.

A simple but firm "thank you, but my beliefs are important and certain" is what I would do.

[krylekathe1]

Thank you! That is perfect... I will thank her for her offers, but state my beliefs are important and certain. I'll go from there. My boyfriend isn't much help really. He says you can't tell his mum anything! Thanks, that's short, polite but strong.

[amber-eyed-girl]

Polite is the thing 🙂 hope she listens to you. Try to find something you can do together that's not based on religion 🙂

[horizon1907]

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@krylekathe wrote:
Long time reader, first time poster.

I have a lovely boyfriend of about 6 months, he comes from a family background of Jehovah's witnesses. Whist he doesn't practice this religion himself, he does believe a lot of the core beliefs. I am from a catholic background, and quite happy with that.

My boyfriends mother is very nice, but clearly wants me to join, she keeps asking me to come learn the bible etc. I politely decline.

I'm not wanting to be rude, but how can I say very clearly that I am not interested, nor will I ever be interested in becoming a Jehovah's Witness, I am quite happy with my beliefs and she needs to stop. It's starting to stress me out. I'm sick of hearing her bag out the Catholics, cause as far as I can tell she's never been to a catholic service in her life anyway. I'm not trying to convert her!

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I think ambers answer is spot on. Be polite. I would say. "Thankyou" My beliefs are as Important and valid to me, as yours are to you.

[grandmoon]

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@krylekathe wrote:
Thank you! That is perfect... I will thank her for her offers, but state my beliefs are important and certain. I'll go from there. My boyfriend isn't much help really. He says you can't tell his mum anything! Thanks, that's short, polite but strong.

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If your boy friend isn't prepared to support you on this I would be very wary of what he will allow his mother to run other aspects of your life.

[krylekathe1]

My boyfriend stating that you can't tell his mother what to do is not being unsupportive, it's stating a fact.

I'm an adult, as is he. No ones mother will be running either of our lives.

I was simply looking for the right wording to politely but firmly reject her offer.

[cherry*135]

No ones mother will be running either of our lives.

I don't think it is that simple, unless you both cut her out of your lives and have nothing to do with her. The mother isn't going to give up wanting her son to have a JW partner.

[krylekathe1]

The mother is an interesting one.

She keeps telling me that her son will make a wonderful father, and asking if I want more children. She was telling me the other day that he'll be such a good husband. She also told him that he needs to make it work with me.

So I think maybe she's given up on him having a JW wife, and just wants him to have any wife. She can't want all she wants. Just like my mother wants me to do certain things. As an adult, I make my own decisions, as does my boyfriend. And he certainly doesn't need to cut his mum out of his life to do so.

In saying that, we've only been dating 6 months! Marriage is not on the agenda at all!

[cherry*135]

but clearly wants me to join, she keeps asking me to come learn the bible etc. I politely decline.

I don't think she has given up!