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nero_bolt · ‎28-04-2014

One of Julia Gillard’s final acts as Prime Minister was to give an extra $10 million to the ABC, a local community-based broadcasting outfit struggling to get by on a mere $1.2 billion every year.

That additional cash helped the ABC to fund an elite fact-checking unit ahead of last year’s election. Sadly, the ABC’s fact-checkers have since made little public impact. Their biggest success may have been crowding another truth-seeking bunch, the privately-funded PolitiFact Australia, out of the market.

But over the Anzac Day weekend the ABC’s fact-checkers finally hit their stride.

Armed with reams of detailed research, several interviews with historians and ninja verification skills, the checkers revealed the shocking truth about celebrated Gallipoli stretcher-bearer John Simpson Kirkpatrick and his donkey, which he used to rescue fallen Australian soldiers from the battlefield.

It’s probable, the ABC reported, that there was more than one donkey.

The ABC was so stunned by this multiple-donkey scoop that it was mentioned four times online and on video. Talk about destroying an Australian military legend! All these years, whenever we’ve spoken about Simpson and his donkey, we really should have been saying Simpson and his donkeys. It’s enough to make you question everything we know about our nation’s history.

As it happens, there has never been much dispute over Simpson’s several donkeys. Contemporaneous accounts report that they used to get shot all the time, as you’d expect in the circumstances.

The ABC’s myth-busting is nearly 100 years late.

nero_bolt · ‎28-04-2014

Still, now we’ve got that fraud Simpson and his welter of donkeys out of the way, the ABC’s fact-checkers can move on to other crucial areas of contention, beginning with:

Mr Squiggle

Everybody remembers passive-aggressive pencilnose Squiggle for his eerie ability to complete unfinished drawings. How did he do it? Was Squiggle secretly assisted by Miss Jane or Rocket? Was his head just a handle, manipulated by unseen forces? And why was Squiggle cancelled just two years before September 11? Video analysis continues as the fact-checkers aim to put us in the picture.

Colonel Sanders

Detailed examination of US military records, conducted over several fact-finding visits to America, has so far failed to locate any official mention of alleged “Colonel” Sanders’ combat history. In fact, there is no record anywhere of Sanders even joining the US Army. Could the late chicken magnate have been faking it all along? Or – far more likely – was his title an acknowledgment of the covert role played by Sanders and his spice squad during the Vietnam War? Only time, and more visits to New York, will tell.

Women’s Weekly

The fact-checkers are on the verge of a breakthrough after comprehensive analysis of Women’s Weekly publication dates revealed that the magazine might not be a weekly at all. “So far we’ve discovered that Women’s Weekly isn’t published weekly, fortnightly or even tri-weekly,” an ABC source revealed. “With another million or two in funding, we could crack this case wide open.” A parallel investigative team is also studying puzzling anomalies in the publication dates of Woman’s Day. “We can’t say too much at the moment,” said the source, “but it isn’t a daily, that’s for sure.”

Indigenous mourning

Could the ancient Aboriginal tradition of not showing images of dead people only date as far back as the invention of photography? This is a conundrum for the fact-checkers, who need much more money before establishing any kind of connection.

Tony Abbott

Popular belief holds that Liberal leader Tony Abbott was elected Prime Minister last September. However, preliminary investigations by the ABC fact-checking team reveals that only a relatively small number of people in the north Sydney area actually cast votes for Abbott and he was really appointed Prime Minister by a mysterious Canberra-based cabal with links to capitalism. Who are these people and why are they the boss of us? The fact-checkers are on the trail.

Skippy

For decades, biologists have been vexed by Skippy the bush kangaroo’s aptitude for dialling telephones, pushing buttons, gathering small objects and otherwise adapting in a primitive but remarkably adroit way to his surroundings. “These abilities invariably vanish when Skippy is viewed in anything other than close-up shots showing only his paws,” a researcher explains. “In all of the wide shots we’ve seen, he just hops around like an idiot. The dichotomy is inexplicable.” Intensive fact-checking will continue once the ABC is able to triangulate a geographical position for Waratah National Park.

Senator Sarah Hanson-Young

Same as Skippy.

http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/timblair/index.php/dailytelegraph/comments/donkey_dollars/

lakeland27 · ‎28-04-2014

the assertions were made by prominent historians not ABC journo's . the right whinge about everything and know little themselves.

icyfroth · ‎28-04-2014

@nero_wulf wrote:
One of Julia Gillard’s final acts as Prime Minister was to give an extra $10 million to the ABC, a local community-based broadcasting outfit struggling to get by on a mere $1.2 billion every year.

That additional cash helped the ABC to fund an elite fact-checking unit ahead of last year’s election. Sadly, the ABC’s fact-checkers have since made little public impact. Their biggest success may have been crowding another truth-seeking bunch, the privately-funded PolitiFact Australia, out of the market.

But over the Anzac Day weekend the ABC’s fact-checkers finally hit their stride.

Armed with reams of detailed research, several interviews with historians and ninja verification skills, the checkers revealed the shocking truth about celebrated Gallipoli stretcher-bearer John Simpson Kirkpatrick and his donkey, which he used to rescue fallen Australian soldiers from the battlefield.

It’s probable, the ABC reported, that there was more than one donkey.

The ABC was so stunned by this multiple-donkey scoop that it was mentioned four times online and on video. Talk about destroying an Australian military legend! All these years, whenever we’ve spoken about Simpson and his donkey, we really should have been saying Simpson and his donkeys. It’s enough to make you question everything we know about our nation’s history.

As it happens, there has never been much dispute over Simpson’s several donkeys. Contemporaneous accounts report that they used to get shot all the time, as you’d expect in the circumstances.

The ABC’s myth-busting is nearly 100 years late.