Dilemma. What would you do?

[daydream**believer]

Ok, this is quite a long story. I hope it makes sense. **Real names have not been used**

On the weekend, my daughter came to me  and said "Mum, theres something odd going on with some of my friends that i want to talk to you about cause im a bit worried"

She tells me that 3 of her friends (lets call them Tom, Jim and Sue) have made friends on facebook with a boy (lets call him John) they dont know who lives in Newcastle. Tom, Jim and Sue live in Adelaide.

Tom became friends with John first by receiving an out of the blue friend request from him.

John claims to be a 16 year old boy. His facebook page has lots of photos of him with heaps of friends. He's quite a good looking kid.

Tom think John is so cool and, via facebook, introduces him to Jim and Sue.

John strikes up quite a friendship with Sue and last week asked her to be his girlfriend. Sue is completely infatuated with John.

John has now said that his dad is going to bring him to Adelaide in a couple of weeks to meet Tom, Jim and Sue.

He has even said that a great place for them to all meet up would be the local swimming pool.

None of this sits right with me. Why a kid in Newcastle (a popular, good looking one according to his facebook page) would need to make friends with strangers in Adelaide. Would want one of them to be his girlfriend and then get his dad to bring him all the way over here to meet them.

Im not sure if you are all aware of the of the Carly Ryan story, but it is making me quite nervous about whats going on.

Carly Ryan- http://au.news.yahoo.com/today-tonight/lifestyle/article/-/7013312/internet-predators/

I know Jim's mother quite well and am going to talk to her about it all tomorrow. I know she has no idea who Jim talks to on facebook.

Im wondering, should i go to the police? They could at least investigate if John is real. I thought about going to the school, but all they would do is give a talk about internet predators and the kids would ignore it.

Over the weekend, my daughter tried to talk to Tom and Jim about the risks but they just didnt get it. They think John is so cool.

The whole "better to be safe than sorry" phrase keeps popping in my head.

Oh, and by the way, John's last name on facebook in Smith

[daydream**believer]

Amy, I am glad that you will do something.I admit to being frustrated that now you have bought it to our attention you are going to wait to contact the police about it.I want to do it now myself...but I can't.

remember my daughter and I are third parties in this as neither of us have spoken to this John kid.

And i only found out about it on the weekend.

I wanted to use today to gather a bit more information.

Today my daughter asked Sue what she talks to John about. She says he sends her love poems. She also asked if he is going to send her a Valentines Day present and Sue said "i havent given him my address. He is a stranger and i dont want him to know where I live".

Tomorrow morning i'll chat to Jim's mum and see where her head is at. Tomorrow afternoon, i'll go to the police

[*crikey*mate*]

Amy do not delay go to the police today, if this is a peadophile & he has reached the stage of feeling out the waters for a meet & greet , then he considers that the grooming is suffiecently complete that he can now move to the capture, the police need time to build a profile & a case against this guy ,IF he is  preditor that will take time, if he is actualy a 15 year old then you have lost nothing by going to the police

Unless he is a 15 year old boy who has been groomed by his father, so the boy might be "legit" so to speak, but isn't his dad coming with him? Who's the dad? Is he really coming as a guardian?

Tell the kids to set up skype and do a video skype...... including dad.

[izabsmiling]

remember my daughter and I are third parties in this as neither of us have spoken to this John kid.

And i only found out about it on the weekend.

I wanted to use today to gather a bit more information.

Today my daughter asked Sue what she talks to John about. She says he sends her love poems. She also asked if he is going to send her a Valentines Day present and Sue said "i havent given him my address. He is a stranger and i dont want him to know where I live".

Tomorrow morning i'll chat to Jim's mum and see where her head is at. Tomorrow afternoon, i'll go to the police

Everyone who has read this is also a third party now only we can't do what ever it is we feel should be done..'just in case' for the sake of this Sue and possibly other children as well.

I would want and expect another parent to tell me straight away if it were my child ? Wouldn't you ? Personally I would be talking with them straight away either in person or by phone.Any gather of information is theirs to do imo....along with the Police just to be on the safe side.I couldn't sleep on it until I had done that...but that's me.I hope that everything works out well.

[nevynreally]

Unless he is a 15 year old boy who has been groomed by his father, so the boy might be "legit" so to speak, but isn't his dad coming with him? Who's the dad? Is he really coming as a guardian?

Tell the kids to set up skype and do a video skype...... including dad.

It's also possible that the *father* is actually the 16 year old *John*

[*pepe]

this sounds like a plot to a movie.

you are right to be concerned.

good on your daughter for caring about her friends and telling you.

[*crikey*mate*]

good point Nev - I never considered that the 16 year old could be the actual predator and be 16 iykwim - I was thinking an older person posing as a 16 year old, and then I was thinking a "father" or dominant male (or a female I suppose, though not in this case) using the younger 16 year old boy as bait.

DDB - I agree with Iza on this one - even if I didn't know the other parents whose kids are involved, I'd still want someone to tell me - even if you have to go to the school and tell them the kids's names so that they can talk to the parents....

I know they're not your kids, but IMO kids' safety, no matter who their parents are, is up to everyone. I think this is one of those times when that old saying applies "It takes a community to raise a child".

[crystal**flake]

Would a pedi want to meet up with 3 children all at once?

[kilroy_is_here]

chances are he would not show him self at the first meet & great he would maintain his ananimity & assess which of the three turned up, if the right ones turned up alone he would then make up some excuse for not being there & work on the one for a single get to gether

[*crikey*mate*]

Would a pedi want to meet up with 3 children all at once?

If it is a pedi, he's covering his bases - if he approaches 3, maybe only 1 will say yes and actually turn up and meet him - he's spent a long time setting this up - I don't know the child, but to me, even if all the parents say no, I would guess that John would try and pursuade the girl he's sending poems to, to meet him in secret.... after all, *cough*"they're in love"*cough*.

If all three turn up at the pool, no doubt he may try to single one out to meet later on in private - many a kid has snuck out the bedroom window after mum and dad have gone to bed. They'd probably be more willing if they'd previously met him in a group situation and had a good time.

[patchoo78]

What you really need to find out, is how John managed to find and add Tom or Jim as a friend.. 

Often people will add others from random pages that share jokes, pictures etc..  This could be a clue towards John's intentions.

Furthermore, if the kids are only 13 then they have no business being on Facebook anyway.