Dilemma. What would you do?

[daydream**believer]

Ok, this is quite a long story. I hope it makes sense. **Real names have not been used**

On the weekend, my daughter came to me  and said "Mum, theres something odd going on with some of my friends that i want to talk to you about cause im a bit worried"

She tells me that 3 of her friends (lets call them Tom, Jim and Sue) have made friends on facebook with a boy (lets call him John) they dont know who lives in Newcastle. Tom, Jim and Sue live in Adelaide.

Tom became friends with John first by receiving an out of the blue friend request from him.

John claims to be a 16 year old boy. His facebook page has lots of photos of him with heaps of friends. He's quite a good looking kid.

Tom think John is so cool and, via facebook, introduces him to Jim and Sue.

John strikes up quite a friendship with Sue and last week asked her to be his girlfriend. Sue is completely infatuated with John.

John has now said that his dad is going to bring him to Adelaide in a couple of weeks to meet Tom, Jim and Sue.

He has even said that a great place for them to all meet up would be the local swimming pool.

None of this sits right with me. Why a kid in Newcastle (a popular, good looking one according to his facebook page) would need to make friends with strangers in Adelaide. Would want one of them to be his girlfriend and then get his dad to bring him all the way over here to meet them.

Im not sure if you are all aware of the of the Carly Ryan story, but it is making me quite nervous about whats going on.

Carly Ryan- http://au.news.yahoo.com/today-tonight/lifestyle/article/-/7013312/internet-predators/

I know Jim's mother quite well and am going to talk to her about it all tomorrow. I know she has no idea who Jim talks to on facebook.

Im wondering, should i go to the police? They could at least investigate if John is real. I thought about going to the school, but all they would do is give a talk about internet predators and the kids would ignore it.

Over the weekend, my daughter tried to talk to Tom and Jim about the risks but they just didnt get it. They think John is so cool.

The whole "better to be safe than sorry" phrase keeps popping in my head.

Oh, and by the way, John's last name on facebook in Smith

[patchoo78]

It would have been random (especially if this person is a perve/pedo/creep)... send out lots of friend requests and see who accepts them.

It's not as easy as that, Facebook is set up so only people you know can search for you via your real name, email address or phone number (If anyone is silly enough to put that on there)

The main way you get random people adding you is if the person had been looking through fan and humor pages to get friends

So unless the person is just typing in random names to add people then it's likely he found them from a humor or fan page.

[daydream**believer]

i cant stay as my migraine is coming back and im gonna have to go to bed.

Just addrss these posts

Im not going to do nothing. You can trust me 100% on that. I will be going to the police tomorrow.

"Would a pedi want to meet up with 3 children all at once?"

I suspect something like this will go down. Kids go to the pool. The "dad" introduces himself and says John is sick and couldnt make it but is at their Motel. Dad offers to drive the kids to the Motel to meet John. My daughter thinks Jim would not go. Tom might go. Sue definately would go.

"Furthermore, if the kids are only 13 then they have no business being on Facebook anyway."

Facebook is set up for people aged 13 and up.

"They should be telling him, my parents won't let me meet people I don't know at a swimming pool or public place."

Yes, they should be, but they wont. These kids often get dropped at the pool or Westfield to meet up with eachother. For the record, my daughter is never, ever dropped at any place to meet up with friends.

"This does sound like a movie I saw not long ago."

Maybe thats because unfortunately this sort of this is happening way too often. I have not made this up crystal

"What you really need to find out, is how John managed to find and add Tom or Jim as a friend.. "

All i know is that Tom got a friend request from him. Tom "likes" lots of computer games pages. His profile picture shows he is a kid and all 3 of the kids have their facebook pages open for public viewing. Sue takes lots of photos of herself and puts them on her facebook page for the world to see.John could of easily got his name from one of a fan page.

Ive had friend requests in the past from people i dont know.

"most of them set facebook to public so their friends can find them easily"

Exactly

After seeing the police, even if this John is a real kid, i will be discussing with the school about running a special assembly, and invite parents as well, about internet predators.

really gotta go bed now.

[crystal**flake]

Previously your ID didn't like their offspring despite being over 18  being out of their sight, but this scenario is like a movie?

And posting this time of day. Aren't you usually late night? Although of late you've stepped in earlier. Do you have issues with people discussing their concerns? Asking if they're on the right track with their thinking? 

Ouch :^O

[crystal**flake]

The thing is I know it does happen, it happened to my son a couple of times and he showed me what was happening.

I actually did see a movie about exactly this and if its directed at a girl its scary cause they do the love me thing.

Hey nev, nice you have noticed :-x

[patchoo78]

Facebook is set up for people aged 13 and up.

It's 14 actually, and regardless of teens that age being able to use Facebook I don't think they should be using it that young anyway.. 

Ive had friend requests in the past from people i dont know.

I still do, but I do "like" a lot of funny pages and fan pages etc

[patchoo78]

"most of them set facebook to public so their friends can find them easily"

You can still set your profile to private and have friends be able to find you easily.. The profile pic is always public so as long as they have a pic of themselves in their display pic then their friends will be able to find them.

[crystal**flake]

I dont take on a friends request unless I know them.

[krazy.kiwi]

Facebook is set up for people aged 13 and up.

It's 14 actually, and regardless of teens that age being able to use Facebook I don't think they should be using it that young anyway.. 

Ive had friend requests in the past from people i dont know.

I still do, but I do "like" a lot of funny pages and fan pages etc

My son tried to sign up on the morning of his 13th birthday, but because of the US/Australia time difference he was told he couldn't join up yet because he wasn't 13.  He had to wait until the next day when the date in the US had cought up with us.

It is for 13 and over.

[azureline**]

How old do you have to be to sign up for Facebook?

In order to be eligible to sign up for Facebook, you must be at least 13 years old.

https://www.facebook.com/help/210644045634222/

[catsnknots]

http://www.thinkuknow.org.au/site/

This is a very important site... don't know if anyone has posted the link as I have not read through all the posts. 

Amy.... You ask a very good question about if you should go to the police. I say yes... trust your gut and thank your daughter for trusting hers... you obviously have done something right to have a wonderful daughter that has come to you with her concern.... she is very smart.

on that link I have posted there is a link to report... you need to bring the person to the attention of the police. If the meet up goes ahead they can actually set up a sting and get the weirdo... 

Just think of it this way... would you like your child to attend a meeting like this and what would you like another parent to do if in this situation? This is a classic example of child grooming.... 

There are benefits to have a child with Aspergers... his desire to use facebook is zero...... all that social interaction is not what he likes...