I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

If at first you don’t succeed, parachuting is not for you.

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, "If I died, would you remarry?"

Peter thought for a second then said "Yeah I guess I would".

Then his the wife asked, "well would you have her as your golfing partner?"

Peter replied, "yep I probably would do that too".

"But surely you wouldn't give her my clubs?!", she cried.

Peter looked at her and said, "Nah, she is left handed."

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]