Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

It is an excerpt from a book and it is too long to post so have only put the link in. It is a mothers book about the struggle to out her 7 year old daughter on a diet. Dotted throughout the article are comments from the mother about her own dieting and self esteem issues and she thinks that putting her daughter on a strict diet will ensure she doesn't have the same issues she does. What a wack-job!


 


I'll copy in some sections but it worth reading the whole lot:


 


(should point out that the daughter was never obese)


 


This is what happened when daughter complained about being hungry at a family function. She had just eaten a smaller (than the other kids) portion of pasta: 


 


"If she's hungry, she can have some salad," my friend offered again.


 


"Okay," said Bea.


 


I stared at the Niçoise salad, full of tuna, eggs, potatoes - and olive oil.


"I'm sorry. Bea," I interjected. "It's got a lot of dressing on it, and ..."


 


"Just olive oil!" my friend interrupted. "It's super healthy!"


I forced a grim smile. "I know, but ..."


"Just a little!" my friend insisted, and pushed the bowl into Bea's hands.


 


I didn't know what to do. My friend was being a hospitable dinner hostess, responding caringly to a child complaining of being hungry. I was trying to be a good mother, an advocate for my child's health. But I also wanted to be a polite dinner guest. Bea happily devoured the salad as I sat silently.


 


I was mad at myself for not being more protective. I felt bad that I'd let her eat food we hadn't planned on, just to avoid some social discomfort. It wasn't the one bowl of salad that worried me. It was the very real fear that not sticking to our strategy 100 per cent, all the time, left the door open for more such moments to creep in. I'd been on enough diets myself and had tried enough half-hearted measures with Bea to realise what was required.


 


And this is the transcript when she came out of the weigh-in with a doctor:


 


Bea stepped on the scale, and i had a moment of reflection. I recalled the previous year's weigh-in at 42 kilograms. I remembered the worry over whether I could help her, of my determination to help her, of the effort of helping her, of the frustrations and triumphs and surprises and disappointments. All, it seemed, leading up to this moment.   


 


The digital scale displayed her weight as ... 35 kilograms.


 


There it was. The magic number we'd been working towards, finally appearing on the scale.


 


When our appointment ended, Bea got dressed and we stepped outside of the office. I looked at her, beaming expectantly as we walked down the street. But she said nothing.


 


"How do you feel about all the weight you lost?" I asked her when we got home.


 


"Good," she said, blandly.


 


"Do you like the way you look now?" I asked.


 


"Yes," she said, definitively.


 


"Do you feel different?"


 


"No. That's still me," she said. "I'm not a different person just because I lost seven kilograms."


 


 


 


http://www.dailylife.com.au/lifestyle/if-shes-hungry-she-can-have-some-salad-20130126-2dd0b.html

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

Perhaps the mother was over the top but at the end of the day that is a heck of  a lot of extra weight to carry at that age, same weight as my daughter who is almost 14 and taller than me. I'm 5'6"

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?


I completely disagree, she was overweight, the mother did her a favour.



 


Really? ! Miss 6 is a thin little things but susprised the doctor when she was weighed.....she weighs more than her chubby taller little friend.


 


Without knowing the height of a child the weight scale is not accurate.  2 children of the same age could possibly weigh quite differently.....does not mean either is over or under weight.

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

One of the articles I read described how she was bullied at school for being fat. I think that can be damaging to a child too?


 


Low Self Esteem in teenage years when you don't feel comfortable to go to the beach with your friends can be damaging too, it's a disease.

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

The mother appears quite sane in this interview, I agree with what she says and why she did it:


 


http://foxnewsinsider.com/2013/01/16/dara-lynn-weiss-mom-whose-vogue-article-about-putting-7-year-old-daughter-on-a-diet-sparked-outrage-defends-her-decision/

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

From link in op.


 


Instead of sighing and giving in, as I had done previously, I introduced a new and controversial concept: hunger appropriateness. I told her she might well be hungry, but she shouldn't be. She'd had enough to eat. She was going to eat again soon. Now was not an acceptable time to be hungry. If she was, indeed, truly physically hungry, perhaps it was best that we teach her body not to be hungry when she's had enough to eat. Thus I'd refuse her the requested snack - even the heretofore permissible-at-any-time fresh fruit or vegetables - and tell her to have some water instead. She'd just have to wait until the next meal or snack which, I reminded her, was never that far away.


 


What acceptable justification could there be for the mother not giving the child an allowable vegetable or fruit snack.?


 


 


donna: same weight as my daughter who is almost 14 and taller than me. I'm 5'6"


 


Your daughter is a taller than 5'6'' and weighs 42 kilograms? Is she underweight?


Isn't the correct weight for that height around 55-60kgs?

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

What is the mothers excuse for letting her daughter get overweight in the first place?

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

I'm sure the article I read over the weekend had her at 45 kilos?

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

45 kilos is still underweight for someone a little taller than 5'6''?

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

wrong

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Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

Perhaps the mother was over the top


 


Ya think lol?!


 


Of course if your child is obese then you need to address it. With tact. And by minimising long term emotional effects.


 


What I have a big issue with is the way the mother keeps saying her daughter was 'unhealthy'. Basically that sounds to me that she is using that word as a cover up for the word 'unattractive'. And in another excerpt I have seen she talks about how important beauty is and how important fitting in at school will be when she is older.  

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