Is it just me or is this heartbreaking to read?

[i-need-a-martini]

It is an excerpt from a book and it is too long to post so have only put the link in. It is a mothers book about the struggle to out her 7 year old daughter on a diet. Dotted throughout the article are comments from the mother about her own dieting and self esteem issues and she thinks that putting her daughter on a strict diet will ensure she doesn't have the same issues she does. What a wack-job!

I'll copy in some sections but it worth reading the whole lot:

(should point out that the daughter was never obese)

This is what happened when daughter complained about being hungry at a family function. She had just eaten a smaller (than the other kids) portion of pasta: 

"If she's hungry, she can have some salad," my friend offered again.

"Okay," said Bea.

I stared at the Niçoise salad, full of tuna, eggs, potatoes - and olive oil.

"I'm sorry. Bea," I interjected. "It's got a lot of dressing on it, and ..."

"Just olive oil!" my friend interrupted. "It's super healthy!"

I forced a grim smile. "I know, but ..."

"Just a little!" my friend insisted, and pushed the bowl into Bea's hands.

I didn't know what to do. My friend was being a hospitable dinner hostess, responding caringly to a child complaining of being hungry. I was trying to be a good mother, an advocate for my child's health. But I also wanted to be a polite dinner guest. Bea happily devoured the salad as I sat silently.

I was mad at myself for not being more protective. I felt bad that I'd let her eat food we hadn't planned on, just to avoid some social discomfort. It wasn't the one bowl of salad that worried me. It was the very real fear that not sticking to our strategy 100 per cent, all the time, left the door open for more such moments to creep in. I'd been on enough diets myself and had tried enough half-hearted measures with Bea to realise what was required.

And this is the transcript when she came out of the weigh-in with a doctor:

Bea stepped on the scale, and i had a moment of reflection. I recalled the previous year's weigh-in at 42 kilograms. I remembered the worry over whether I could help her, of my determination to help her, of the effort of helping her, of the frustrations and triumphs and surprises and disappointments. All, it seemed, leading up to this moment.   

The digital scale displayed her weight as ... 35 kilograms.

There it was. The magic number we'd been working towards, finally appearing on the scale.

When our appointment ended, Bea got dressed and we stepped outside of the office. I looked at her, beaming expectantly as we walked down the street. But she said nothing.

"How do you feel about all the weight you lost?" I asked her when we got home.

"Good," she said, blandly.

"Do you like the way you look now?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, definitively.

"Do you feel different?"

"No. That's still me," she said. "I'm not a different person just because I lost seven kilograms."

http://www.dailylife.com.au/lifestyle/if-shes-hungry-she-can-have-some-salad-20130126-2dd0b.html

[cherry*135]

Whack job mother alright. The girl is 7 and not overweight, her mother could limit sweets, fatty foods (like takeaways) but no need to force her on a diet everyday...poor kid. When she is grown up and leaves home she will probably pig out on donuts and burgers because she was denied food as a child and this could make her overweight/have weight issues.

[lionrose.7]

I would really want to shake some since into that mother and hope the child does not get a eating disorder because of her.

[i-need-a-martini]

I agree. This poor kid is going to have MAJOR issues with food and her body as an adult.

I just don't understand how any mother would do this. It's widely known now that mothers who constantly diet or display concerns about their bodies pass these same practices to their daughters.

[happyroo_bunji]

wow, just wow

[donnashuggy]

I completely disagree, she was overweight, the mother did her a favour.

[kopenhagen5]

My goodness. Children should not be self concious below age 10 at least.

Everything in moderation, the mother could have placed a sensible program in their lifestyle rather than an extremely strict regime with a goal that focused on looks.

We were allowed Red Barn (mcdonalds) twice a year on birthdays and lollies on saturdays. Usually always Ribena cordial instead of softdrinks and deserts on special occasions. 

That was just normal to us and we didn't notice any restrictions.

[syrupsmummy]

Is the figures correct? Is it really kilograms not pounds?

42kg is about  12 years old average weight and 35kg is about 11 years old average weight according to this site.

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/average-weight-for-children-by-age.html

[donnashuggy]

That would be right syrups!

I have very strong views on this and they are not intended to offend but allowing your young child to over-eat is child abuse, plain and simple.

[i-need-a-martini]

Donna - the child wasn't obese. She was a 6 kgs overweight for her age.

The dietician that the mother went to has since come forward saying the girl was tall for her age so her weight was slightly higher than the optimum for her age. The dietician disagreed with the strictness of the diet so much that the mother took her out of the programme. The mother objected to parts of her programme including "unlimited fruit and vegetables". Apparently the mother thought that CONTROL was the issue so allowing her daughter unlimited anything would lead to her wanting unlimited everything else.

However, obese or not, the mothers methods suck.

By verballing the link between weight and self worth, she has given that kid an emotional weight that she will carry with her the rest of the her life.