Midweek Pondering: Why is not wanting to date a particular race not considered racist.............

[the_bob_delusion]

But not wanting to have a particular race as friends is?

[i-need-a-martini]

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@matthew_mark_luke_and_bob wrote:

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@i-need-a-martini wrote:

Having a different race as a friend has very little impact on either people in terms of friendship.Your values don't need to go beyond choosing a cafe or a movie.

But once you form a union, get married, have kids, it is a different story. If you have a strong culture and if you are religious your values can sometimes be completely alien to each other.

I'm Italian married to an Aussie. Not much of a race difference there and neither of us are religious. But still, if we ever argue it will be over values related to culture. And it s always the simple, dumb things like trying to make him understand that not leaving a wedding party until the bride has left or the brides family will cause offence that will ripple through my family for decades.

And even though I am not religious, religion has caused some issues for me in the past. I may be atheist (as is hubby) but my parents are strong Catholics. So decided to get the kids baptised caused us a lot of angst.  In the end, we baptised both to appease my family. But luckily neither of us had strong opposing religions or it would have caused huge rifts.

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You do realise you can have people of different race living in the same culture and same religion et c etc. 

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Where did I say you couldn't.

I was just responding to your question and explaining why racism is not acceptable in friendships but racism (if you can call it that) is acceptable in relationships.

As I said, values and issues to do with race are not a hindrance to a friendship cause you don't spend the same amount of time together or share the same things (money, children family etc). There is a lot more to consider in long term relatinships.

[the_bob_delusion]

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@i-need-a-martini wrote:

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@matthew_mark_luke_and_bob wrote:

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@i-need-a-martini wrote:

Having a different race as a friend has very little impact on either people in terms of friendship.Your values don't need to go beyond choosing a cafe or a movie.

But once you form a union, get married, have kids, it is a different story. If you have a strong culture and if you are religious your values can sometimes be completely alien to each other.

I'm Italian married to an Aussie. Not much of a race difference there and neither of us are religious. But still, if we ever argue it will be over values related to culture. And it s always the simple, dumb things like trying to make him understand that not leaving a wedding party until the bride has left or the brides family will cause offence that will ripple through my family for decades.

And even though I am not religious, religion has caused some issues for me in the past. I may be atheist (as is hubby) but my parents are strong Catholics. So decided to get the kids baptised caused us a lot of angst.  In the end, we baptised both to appease my family. But luckily neither of us had strong opposing religions or it would have caused huge rifts.

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You do realise you can have people of different race living in the same culture and same religion et c etc. 

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Where did I say you couldn't.

I was just responding to your question and explaining why racism is not acceptable in friendships but racism (if you can call it that) is acceptable in relationships.

As I said, values and issues to do with race are not a hindrance to a friendship cause you don't spend the same amount of time together or share the same things (money, children family etc). There is a lot more to consider in long term relatinships.

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Except in both cases, people are judge on their appearance entirely. If you control for all the other variable, your argument goes to the **bleep**s. 

[the_bob_delusion]

Is there a particular race you wouldn't consider marrying into?

[springyzone]

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@the_bob_delusion wrote:

Is there a particular race you wouldn't consider marrying into?

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I don't know that when I was young, I had any particular races that I would not consider marrying into. Not sure I even gave that much thought to it.

But realistically, you usually end up marrying someone you've met. Back in my day there was no internet, so it wasn't as if you could get into conversations online with people overseas. It was always someone you met at work or socially.

That pretty much limited your possible range to Australians or migrants who lived here, unless you went overseas which i had never done before I got married.

To me what would count more than race or nationality would probably be social practices, customs, beliefs.

I probably would have found it hard to get to know someone who had no English, for example. I can imagine getting along with a little bit of English but no language in common would be hard.

I'm not sure I could marry a muslim if they were very devout and expected me to dress a certain way and give up my own customs. I am guessing though I wouldn't have met or been asked out by someone like that in the first place.

I do think people are entitled to go out with and marry people they are attracted to and get along with. If they aren't attracted to people from a particular race, so be it. It may not mean they can't be friendly to people from that race, that's a different thing.

[4channel]

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Re: Midweek Pondering: Why is not wanting to date a particular race not considered racist...........

@the_bob_delusion wrote:

But not wanting to have a particular race as friends is?

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Past programming has a lot to do with it. Today people are waking up. With myself, I have had relationships with women of various ethnicity. I find women of all ethnic backgrounds attractive. And I make friends with whoever, based on how easy they are to get along with.

Today people should be getting on better and for the most part there are. But certain people in the media and political arena are dedicated to division.

[eol-products]

Can the same thought pattern be related to what car you drive. 

[domino-710]

Or a preference to white or red wine. lol

[the_bob_delusion]

Consider these two statements:

Which one would you consider more racist or is it on par?

Black parent, "I don't want a son of mine dating a white girl"

White parent: "I don't want a son of mine dating a black girl"

[katistrophik]

This an old one bob [ You have too much  time on your hands ]

Both as bad as the other, IMO. Although depending on context.

Perhaps the parents foresee the issues a mixed marriage may cause, and not want that for their child, I really don't know.

My son is aboriginal, I was with his father for 17 years, so I can't relate to the racist/predjudice thing, I can't comprehend it -

We all bleed red

[davewil1964]

Why haven't you posted this in your most recent racist thread?

Not enough responses? Not enough outrage? Running out of ideas to keep your 'relevance'?