on โ26-04-2014 08:58 AM
on โ26-04-2014 01:32 PM
Some -fringe religions and cults have a lot to answer for.............Richo.
on โ26-04-2014 01:33 PM
@2106greencat wrote:Does there have to be an 'at fault' partner ?
Some couples simply drift away from one another, some just split amicably and are better friends for it.
Very ambiguous question matthew_mark_luke_and_nosy
yeah, of course there are the ones that just drift away. sorry i forgot about those. i was rather focused on the difficult break ups.
on โ26-04-2014 01:37 PM
Oh,
well my divorce was pretty good, in fact I was positively over the moon about it (so was he) hee hee
And yes, we are really good friends, I am looking after his kids at the moment while he and his wife (now my best friend) are in NZ.
So it is different for everyone, in our case, way too young (married at 18) Seemed like a good idea at the time...
on โ26-04-2014 01:37 PM
@kennedia_nigricans wrote:it's the womans fault cos she didn't have the sense to pick a good guy but went for
the one who drives a green car"interesting/exciting" (macho) bleep.
*cheeky grin*
โ26-04-2014 05:33 PM - edited โ26-04-2014 05:34 PM
The Family Law Act states that there is no "fault" in marriage, just an "irretrievable breakdown"
on โ26-04-2014 05:37 PM
ref. OP "Who's fault was it?"
................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Questions like this discussed by happily married couples is a good example of how couples end up in a Divorce Court LOL
on โ29-04-2014 04:58 PM
It takes two people for a marriage to break down (IMO)...UNLESS it involves violence, abuse, gambling, alcohol, drugs, infidelity. I am sure there are some instances where faults or shortcomings in the marriage / groundwork lead to some of the above issues.
When you go into a marriage you need to be clear about what the dealbreakers are and KNOW the person you are marrying. Do your research and (TBH) do the checks you need to. My husband agreed to police and welfare checks before I was prepared to go deeper into a relationship with him. Now that may sound harsh or cynical, but I needed to protect my children as well as myself and I was not prepared to go into another relationship without being fully informed / forewarned.
I believe that in my previous marriage we were both lax in keeping the "flame" alive. I also did not listen to my own radar two weeks before the wedding. There were also alarm bells regarding his family that I put off as "quirks". I know now that I should not have married him but I was naive and pregnant and came from a (then) Catholic background / family. I do recognise he was not entirely at fault. I had a fall which resulted in a back injury, I also developed Chronic Fatigue and suffer cycling depression as a result. We both let the garden whither to a point where no renovation rescue could fix it and to be honest, neither of us were willing to try any more. He preferred the alcohol and gambling to cope and I had no more strength to fight it.
In my current marriage, we recognise "flags" and work on them immediately. We are open and honest about everything. It's not a perfect marriage by any means, but neither of us is naive and we recognise that marriage is a journey and needs attention so it doesn't become "anyone's" fault...
on โ29-04-2014 11:00 PM
Well I suppose it was partly my fault...
I didn't want to be his punching bag anymore, get choked too the point of passing out, fight for every cent of money to pay bills and feed the family or see how his children cringed in fear when he came home drunk yet again....
Married way too young, thinking I could change him because we loved each other.
Yeah, right.
My second marriage is now in its 34th year, so I did pick OK the 2nd time around
on โ29-04-2014 11:05 PM
((((Bella))))