Teenage depression linked to Over Protective parents

[donnashuggy]

Do you encourage your kids to take risks? I know I do.

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/overprotective-parents-are-linked-to-teenage-depression-201305...

[donnashuggy]

When I was 18, you left school and got a  full time job.. rents were reasonable. Saving for a house was achievable. Some went from school to Uni.

Now I would say, more go on to Uni, work part-time, rents are expensive.. it sort of makes sense to stay with parents if you can in that situation.

My youngest 22yo, lives at home by choice (she lived out of home for a few months when she was 18, prefers home). She is at Uni and works p/time.

I have no doubt she will have no problem finding her way outside her parents home when the time comes.

My son is also at Uni and living at home.

I think parents were more conservative when we were young and we wanted a bit of freedom.

If there is a will there is a way and I know that if you want to work go to uni and share a flat it is still possible, rents have always seemed expensive for students!

[judyztreasurez]

Haha! Donna, I lived my first 10 years just down the road from Kings Cross

I went to Brisbane when I was 18, living with 6 other people whom I didn't know. It was all part of growing up. It was hard then as it still would be now, but it was wonderful to get out into the world

My son left for Sydney when he was 18 and lived with a few others. Got a job and grew up. Now lives about 15 minutes from here

My daughter got a job here at 18, then went to Alice Springs, Albury, Coffs Harbour, Brisbane and now lives about 20 minutes south of here

It was healthy and is how it should be

[donnashuggy]

Sounds extremely normal to me Judy!

I think that high expectations can possibly cause more damage to children than anything.

I just want my kids to be nice and happy!

[judyztreasurez]

That's all we mothers ever want. Happy, well adjusted kids 🙂

[cherry*135]

If there is a will there is a way and I know that if you want to work go to uni and share a flat it is still possible, rents have always seemed expensive for students!

Not as expensive as they are now, especially in the area we live in where there is an extreme shortage. 

It is still possible though, especially if 4/5 people share one house.

My eldest lives in a  2 brm apartment n Syd. Rent is nearly $600 a week, shared with one other person. She works full time but the rent eats up a fair chunk of her salary.

[donnashuggy]

Rents where I live are very high too and there is a shortage but there are country kids and foreign students still seem to manage to work and study and pay their rent.

It is kind of weird that the local kids don't want to work and leave home, something has changed and financial is not the main factor I don't think.

[crystal**flake]

Who decided the difference between protective and being over protective?

[donnashuggy]

a bunch of researchers crystal, read the article - it has been long going research!

[bella_again]

Yes but the study only concentrates on just over 100 girls compared to how many million around the world?  Seriously I think we over philosophise some things.  Personally unless there are actual reasons for a parent to stunt the emotional growth of the child (ie mental illness, lack of parenting skills etc) then really its down to personality.

Some kids are just that way. My eldest is very attached and nothing I did to throw her out into the world prepared her, its just her personality. As parents we provide environments conductive to developing interpersonal skills and independence.  We try to teach them to not be afraid to take risks or try new things, but not all kids run with that.

Interestingly my intellectually disabled 17 yo is out going, happy and runs her own radio show at the local community radio station.

Personally I think its just personality!

[bella_again]

As for teens and adults not leaving home I think a lot of that is purely economic.  It's expensive to venture out into the world these days on your own 🙂