The Abbotts are getting divorced! :O :O :O

[i-need-a-martini]

And it's Joolya fault...:O

In a shock announcement to be made at a press conference next week, Margie Abbott  is expected to announce her separation from her husband, the Opposition Leader Tony Abbott.

Friends of the couple say the announcement is shocking but not surprising: “Margie is like a single mum – Tony is never at home and she knows as well as we do that it can only get worse when he becomes Prime Minister. She is probably keen to make the announcement early so that it does not become an election issue.”

A shocked friend and neighbour who had been at lunch with the Abbotts earlier in the day, says she was stunned when Margie announced she was no longer responsible for Mr Abbotts wardrobe. When questioned, the tight lipped Mrs Abbott “simply said, “He’ll have to buys his own undies from now on”.” she said. 

It is believed the only person within Mr Abbotts close circle who know of the decision is Mr Joe Hockey who is said to be waiting in the wings “in case, Mr Abbott feels the need to take a year or so off to recover.”

It is understood a man fitting the description of Mr Abbott recently enquired about room rates at the nearby North Shore Hotel which will allow him to be within easy distance from the family home in case Mrs Abbott changes her mind and he has to run back quickly.

Another family friend has predicted that the divorce will get messy. “There will be a custody battle over all the clothes that Margie has bought over the years as well as the contents of the bathroom cabinet,” she says, “The only thing that Tony will concede custody on will be the contents of the kitchen. That is Margies domain and he has never actually walked into the room”.

It is understood that Mrs Abbott gave her husband the ultimatum: "It's either me or 'that woman'." said one source.

Mr Abbott is expected to follow Mrs Abbotts press conference with one of his own where it is predicted he will end the conference doing a tearful rendition of Gloria Gaynors “I will Survive”.

http://www.martininews.com.au/opinion/political-news/shock-announcement-CS-20130217-2ekrb.html

[icyfroth]

Abbots aren't sposed to cohabitate with the lowly female secks anyhoo lol

[trish7025]

my care factor..................0

😉

[jean2579]

Have a look at the link. A wind up perhaps?

[azureline**]

I don't believe it... without looking at links.

[katydidthat]

In a further shock announcement, Tony Abbott admits to long term affair with Bronwyn Bishop.  "I couldn't resist the pocket Venus", he stated, "She punched all my buttons in just the right places".  

While Mrs Bishop could not be reached for comment, her aides have confirmed that Abbott was a frequent visitor to her office, and the pair often met in private.  Her office suite contains a kitchenette, including a fridge stacked with French champagne, and a small bedroom furnished with a single bed.  

The couple have many interests in common, including financial ruin, Christianity, and clothes.  Mrs Bishop has frequently been noticed for her taste in expensive designer gear, while Mr Abbott has caused a run on "budgie smugglers" giving the industry a much needed boost.  

The difference in age has not been an issue, insiders state.  "Mr Abbott enjoys older ladies" said a source, "he also likes younger ones and those the same age.  However, he draws the line at any female on the left side of politics, he's worried about contamination".  

People are speculating on the possibilities of marriage, although, with an election looming, this is understood to be a contentious issue just now.  

Questioned further about the relationship, Mr Abbott merely stated:  "Bronwyn, Bishop, boobs and butt all start with the letter B.  As I have two Bs in my last name, and I am a B-rated politician, it is only natural that I should be drawn to other people who have B connections.  Call it Darwinism if you like, survival of the B-est".  

Abbott colleagues, asking not to be named, declared that Abbott was "one of the last true romantics, but had picked a somewhat difficult time".  However, they wished him all the best of luck in his future love life.  Malcolm Turnbull could not be reached for comment, however his telephone message to say he was unavailable was set to the background of Your Cheating Heart by Hank Williams.  

http://www.katydidthatnews.com.au/opinion/political-news/shock-announcement-CS-20139465-2ekrb.html

[the_great_she_elephant]

SurelySurely no-one reading that supposed C&P could have believed it was anything other than a send up LOL.

[happyroo_bunji]

come on martini, I thought you were a bit more cultured than this.

Just cause the other side does this sort of thing, doesn't mean you have to?

[topsidesoul]

Utter rubbish, he's  publically plays the role of a catholic and that means no to divorce.

[lakeland27]

whats funny is that some would revel in this story if it were swan or one of the others. it seems more credible than the AWU concoction was though. 🙂