Visiting Irishman From UK

[tommy.irene]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

[not_an_eloi]

snipe

[tommy.irene]

Okay, so a Texan rancher comes upon a farmer from Maine. The Texan looks at the Mainer and asks, "Say, how much land you think you got here?" Mainer: 'Bout 10 acres I'd say." Texan (boasting): Well, on my lot, it takes me all day to drive completely around my property!" Mainer: "Yep, I got one of them trucks too."

[tommy.irene]

SuzieQ was on a thread and said she hasnt heard from Lynn since she went into hospital..anyone from Cairns..do you know Loopy Lynn..

[bryanjoh0260]

Okay, so a Texan rancher comes upon a farmer from Maine. The Texan looks at the Mainer and asks, "Say, how much land you think you got here?" Mainer: 'Bout 10 acres I'd say." Texan (boasting): Well, on my lot, it takes me all day to drive completely around my property!" Mainer: "Yep, I got one of them trucks too."

The same guys mate said to an Aussie,"Geezzz i would love a couple of acres like you have" the Aussie guy kicked him fair between the legs and hard into the groin and said "Well there's a couple of acres for a start"

[patchoo78]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

And the rest of the day to yourself 🙂

[tommy.irene]

A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact.

Mary... Mary....

Is that you Fred?

Yes, I have come back like we agreed.

What is it like?

Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bath in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon-supper-then sex till late at night, sleep then start all over again.

Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven.

Hell no, I'm a rabbit in Kansas.

[tommy.irene]

[cat_mioux]

Cute Irish hamsterers I see.

How have you been TommyIrene?

[tommy.irene]

A woman was walking down the street when she wa accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby homeless woman who asked for a couple of Euros for dinner. She took out her purse, got out 10 Euros and then asked 'if I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner. The woman said 'No, I had to stop drinking years ago. The woman then asked, 'well will you use it to go shopping instead of for food'. The homeless woman replied 'No I don't waste my time shopping, I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive' The woman then asked, 'will you use the money to go to the beauty parlour to have your hair done instead of for food'. The Homeless woman replied 'are you nuts, I haven't had my hair done in 20 years'. The woman then put her money away and said I'm not going to give you any money, but want you to come out to dinner with my husband and me tonight' The homeless woman said but won't your husband be furious with you for that, I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting'. 'Thats OK the woman said. It's important for him to see just what happens to a woman who gives up shopping, wine and hair appointments'.

[tommy.irene]

Cute Irish hamsterers I see.

How have you been Tommy.Irene?

We are keeping ok..