Visiting Irishman From UK

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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Visiting Irishman From UK

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, โ€œIn one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.โ€ In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. โ€œRemember,โ€ said the Lord, โ€œyou must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year.โ€ Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping. โ€œNoah!โ€ He shouted. โ€œWhere is the Ark?โ€ -โ€œLord, please forgive me,โ€ cried, Noah. โ€œI did my best, but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved flotation devices. Then, my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service wonโ€™t let me take the 2 owls. The carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group sued me. They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard. This suit is pending. Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didnโ€™t take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe. Then, the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood plain. I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard. The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that Iโ€™m building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a โ€˜recreational water craftโ€™. And finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, itโ€™s a religious event, and, therefore unconstitutional. I really donโ€™t think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years.โ€ Noah waited. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. โ€œYou mean youโ€™re not going to destroy the earth, Lord?โ€ -โ€œNo,โ€ He said sadly. โ€œI donโ€™t have to. The government already has.โ€
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
Message 1621 of 2,931
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Visiting Irishman From UK

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Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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Visiting Irishman From UK

A Blondes Year in Review January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels Helllloooo!!! bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!! May - Tried to make coffee.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of London is "L".....isn't it??? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked Chicken for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! Oh and what will December bring?
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
Message 1623 of 2,931
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Visiting Irishman From UK

An airplane captainโ€™s main priority is to keep his or her passengers safe. Captain Richard Rodriguez lived up to his responsibility when a flight attendant informed him a fallen American soldier was aboard the flight. Upon that news, everything changed for the flight plan. This amazing story of kindness, comfort, care and love is so touching it will bring you to tears and impact your heartโ€ฆthis is the type of story we should never forget! Below is Captain Rodriguezโ€™s post as he shares it with the world: โ€œMy lead flight attendant came to me and said, โ€˜We have an H.R. on this flight.โ€™ (H.R. stands for human remains.) โ€˜Are they military?โ€™ I asked. โ€˜Yes,โ€™ she said. โ€˜Is there an escort?โ€™ I asked. โ€˜Yes, Iโ€™ve already assigned him a seat.โ€™ โ€˜Would you please tell him to come to the Flight Deck. You can board him early,โ€™ I saidโ€ฆ A short while later a young army sergeant entered the flight deck. He was the image of the perfectly dressed soldier. He introduced himself and I asked him about his soldier. The escorts of these fallen soldiers talk about them as if they are still alive and still with us. โ€˜My soldier is on his way back to Virginia ,โ€™ he said. He proceeded to answer my questions, but offered no words. I asked him if there was anything I could do for him and he said no. I told him that he had the toughest job in the military, and that I appreciated the work that he does for the families of our fallen soldiers. The first officer and I got up out of our seats to shake his hand. He left the Flight Deck to find his seat. We completed our preflight checks, pushed back and performed an uneventful departure. About 30 minutes into our flight, I received a call from the lead flight attendant in the cabin. โ€˜I just found out the family of the soldier we are carrying, is also on board,โ€™ she said. She then proceeded to tell me that the father, mother, wife and 2-year-old daughter were escorting their son, husband, and father home. The family was upset because they were unable to see the container that the soldier was in before we left. We were on our way to a major hub at which the family was going to wait four hours for the connecting flight home to Virginia. The father of the soldier told the flight attendant that knowing his son was below him in the cargo compartment and being unable to see him was too much for him and the family to bear. He had asked the flight attendant if there was anything that could be done to allow them to see him upon our arrival. The family wanted to be outside by the cargo door to watch the soldier being taken off the airplane. I could hear the desperation in the flight attendants voice when she asked me if there was anything I could do. โ€˜Iโ€™m on it,โ€™ I said. I told her that I would get back to her. Airborne communication with my company normally occurs in the form of e-mail like messages. I decided to bypass this system and contact my flight dispatcher directly on a secondary radio. There is a radio operator in the operations control center who connects you to the telephone of the dispatcher. I was in direct contact with the dispatcher. I explained the situation I had on board with the family and what it was the family wanted. He said he understood and that he would get back to me. Two hours went by and I had not heard from the dispatcher. We were going to get busy soon and I needed to know what to tell the family. I sent a text message asking for an update. I saved the return message from the dispatcher and the following is the text: โ€˜Captain, sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. There is policy on this now, and I had to check on a few things. Upon your arrival a dedicated escort team will meet the aircraft. The team will escort the family to the ramp and plane side. A van will be used to load the remains with a secondary van for the family. The family will be taken to their departure area and escorted into the terminal, where the remains can be seen on the ramp. It is a private area for the family only. When the connecting aircraft arrives, the family will be escorted onto the ramp and plane side to watch the remains being loaded for the final leg home. Captain, most of us here in flight control are veterans. Please pass our condolences on to the family. Thanks. I sent a message back, telling flight control thanks for a good job. I printed out the message and gave it to the lead flight attendant to pass on to the father. The lead flight attendant was very thankful and told me, โ€˜You have no idea how much this will mean to them.โ€™ Things started getting busy for the descent, approach and landing. After landing, we cleared the runway and taxied to the ramp area. The ramp is huge with 15 gates on either side of the alleyway. It is always a busy area with aircraft maneuvering every which way to enter and exit. When we entered the ramp and checked in with the ramp controller, we were told that all traffic was being held for us. โ€˜There is a team in place to meet the aircraft,โ€™ we were told. It looked like it was all coming together, then I realized that once we turned the seat belt sign off, everyone would stand up at once and delay the family from getting off the airplane. As we approached our gate, I asked the copilot to tell the ramp controller, we were going to stop short of the gate to make an announcement to the passengers. He did that and the ramp controller said, โ€˜Take your time.โ€™ I stopped the aircraft and set the parking brake. I pushed the public address button and said: โ€˜Ladies and gentleman, this is your Captain speaking: I have stopped short of our gate to make a special announcement. We have a passenger on board who deserves our honor and respect. Also, on board are his father, mother, wife, and daughter. Your entire flight crew is asking for all passengers to remain in their seats to allow the family to exit the aircraft first. Thank you.โ€™ We continued the turn to the gate, came to a stop and started our shutdown procedures. A couple of minutes later I opened the cockpit door. I found the two forward flight attendants crying, something you just do not see. I was told that after we came to a stop, every passenger on the aircraft stayed in their seats, waiting for the family to exit the aircraft. When the family got up and gathered their things, a passenger slowly started to clap his hands. Moments later, more passengers joined in and soon the entire aircraft was clapping. Words of โ€˜God Bless Youโ€™, Iโ€™m sorry, thank you, be proud, and other kind words were uttered to the family as they made their way down the aisle and out of the airplane. They were escorted down to the ramp to finally be with their loved one. Many of the passengers disembarking thanked me for the announcement I had made. They were just words, I told them, I could say them over and over again, but nothing I say will bring back that brave soldier. I respectfully ask that all of you reflect on this event and the sacrifices that millions of our men and women have made to ensure our freedom and safety in these United States of AMERICA.โ€
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
Message 1624 of 2,931
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Visiting Irishman From UK

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Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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Visiting Irishman From UK

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Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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Visiting Irishman From UK

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Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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Visiting Irishman From UK

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Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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Visiting Irishman From UK

Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting used to it, so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, thereโ€™s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. Itโ€™s no wonder these city boys canโ€™t walk much. We go on โ€œroute marches,โ€ which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, itโ€™s not my place to tell him different. A โ€œroute marchโ€ is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They donโ€™t bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I donโ€™t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and donโ€™t move, and it ainโ€™t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You donโ€™t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ainโ€™t like fighting with that ole bull at home. Iโ€™m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but Iโ€™m only 5โ€™6โ€ณ and 130 pounds and heโ€™s 6โ€™8โ€ณ and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Alice
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
Message 1629 of 2,931
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Visiting Irishman From UK

Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" "That's what they say," said his Dad. "Well, give me an apple quick! I've just broken the doctor's window!"
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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