Two guys meet up in a bar.
The first one asks, โDid your hear the news โ Mike is dead??!!!โ
โWoah, what the hell happened to him?โ
โWell he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didnโt brake properly and boom โ He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof โ Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window.โ
โWhat a horrible way to die!โ
โNo no, he survived that, that didnโt kill him at all. So, heโs landed in my upstairs bedroom and heโs all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. Heโs just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones.โ
โWhat a way to go, thatโs terrible!โ
โNo no, that didnโt kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him.โ
โNow that is the most unfortunate way to go!โ
โNo no, that didnโt kill him, he even survived that. So heโs on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him.โ
โMan, what a way to go!โ
โNo no, he survived that, he survived that! Heโs lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didnโt mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him.โ
โNow that is one awful way to go!โ
โNo no, he survived thatโฆโ
โHold on now, just how the hell did he die?โ
โI shot him!โ
โYou shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?โ
โHe was wrecking my house.โ
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
