on โ11-04-2009 07:38 PM
Solved! Go to Solution.
on โ24-12-2013 06:36 PM
The Wife Came Home Early From Work And Found Her Husband In Bedroom Doing Love To A Very Attractive Young Woman.
She Cried: โYou Are A Disrespectful Pig! How Dare You Do This To Me โ A Faithful Wife, The Mother Of Your Children! Iโm Leaving You. I Want A Divorce Right Away!โ
Husband Replied: โHang On Just A Minute Love So At Least I Can Tell You What Happened.โ
She Sobbed: โFine, Go Ahead, But Theyโll Be The Last Words Youโll Say To Me!โ
And The Husband Began โ
Well, I Was Getting Into The Car To Drive Home, And This Young Lady Here Asked Me For A Lift.
She Looked So Down And Out And Defenseless That I Took Pity On Her And Let Her Into The Car.
I Noticed That She Was Very Thin, Not Well Dressed And Very Dirty. She Told Me That She Hadnโt Eaten For Three Days.
So, In My Compassion, I Brought Her Home And Warmed Up The Enchiladas I Made For You Last Night, The Ones You Wouldnโt Eat Because Youโre Afraid Youโll Put On Weight.
Since She Needed A Good Clean-Up, I Suggested A Shower, And While She Was Doing That, I Noticed Her Clothes Were Dirty And Full Of Holes, So I Threw Them Away.
Then, As She Needed Clothes, I Gave Her The Designer Jeans That You Have Had For A Few Years, But Donโt Wear Because You Say They Are Too Tight.
I Also Gave Her The Underwear That Was Your Anniversary Present, Which You Donโt Wear Because I Donโt Have Good Taste.
I Found The Sexy Blouse My Sister Gave You For Christmas That You Donโt Wear Just To Annoy Her, And I Also Donated Those Boots You Bought At The Expensive Boutique And Donโt Wear Because Someone At Work Has A Pair The Same.
The Husband Took A Quick Breath And Continued: โShe Was So Grateful For My Understanding And Help That As I Walked Her To The Door, She Turned To Me With Tears In Her Eyes And Said,
โPlease โฆ Do You Have Anything Else That Your Wife Doesnโt Use?โ
on โ25-12-2013 04:59 PM
on โ26-12-2013 06:40 PM
on โ26-12-2013 06:42 PM
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."
on โ27-12-2013 06:20 PM
on โ27-12-2013 06:42 PM
An elderly man in Melbourne calls his son in Cairns and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Perth and tell her!". Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "it's all set. They're both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare."
on โ27-12-2013 07:15 PM
LOL Tommy-does happen-------------keep them coming..................Richo.
on โ28-12-2013 08:53 PM
on โ29-12-2013 03:28 PM
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole **bleep** thing!
"But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
on โ30-12-2013 04:29 PM