does anyone know about dementia?

[the_hawk*]

(((Gilly)))

[punch*drunk]

The first step is an ACAT assessment. Make sure you tell them its urgent because you are not coping, sometimes there is a wait. Ring first thing this morning.

They will assess the level of care he needs and it usually pretty easy to find a respite place, get him into respite then the pressure will be off while you research your options as far as permanent care goes.

You'll probably need a centrelink assets test for low care to establish whether you can pay a bond or not. They cant touch your house and they have to leave you with something like $43000 of assests, if you have more than that they may want some. High care shouldnt need a bond, but maybe still an assets test to see how much government funding you are eligible for.

Most low care places around here want $300,000 bond, but they will often take less. In fact I think they all have to offer a certain amount of public rooms. There is a website that has aged care vacancies for the whole country and you can search by area. I will try and find it tomorrow, or az might know what it is.

The ACAT people will give you loads of paperwork that outlines all the costs etc, it looks overwhelming, but its really not that bad. They will also be able to organise somehelp at home if you decide to keep him home for a bit longer.

You are eligible for 2 months respite a year, use it!

[punch*drunk]

http://www.agedcareguide.com.au/

I notice az already posted this link, but its a good one so worth posting again in case you missed it.

[polksaladallie]

There are places with independent living units where you can both move into and stay together, even if only one needs some care. 

[azureline**]

At no time did I say private nursing homes only offer hotel like fixtures and fittings..... I said they are allowed to charge a bond for high care because they offer that type of accommodation.

All nursing homes offer different care and some I have seen, I would not leave my dog in.

A Nursing Home manager told me that herself, just 2 months ago when I queried why the bond of $260,000 was required at the Domain Nursing Home.

It makes no difference which nursing home it is, there is a maximum basic daily fee of up to $43.22.

Then, if you choose not to pay a bond, there is another maximum daily Accommodation charge of up to $32.76, which is means tested.

He must be left with $45,400, assuming he has it .

If he has no assetts other than the family home, (which in Gill's case she is still living in and so it is exempt) he will not be charged this fee.

Your situation will also come into play here, he may move up the list according to the urgency of a placement.

Hope you can get the ball rolling and you feel better today Gill.

[vampire-teddy]

we went through this with my father earlier in the year and my father in law late last year.  both dementia, they are now both in the same nursing home.

First as previously mentioned organise the ACAT assessment.  be brutally honest with ACAT it took three assessments before we could get convince them my FIL needed high care and it was only after a hospital stay where the staff could also see the need that ACAT got it right.  My father was also assessed while in hospital.  Neither needed a bond though my FIL does pay more because he had assets whereas my father doesn't.  My mother is still alive.  they used to get a joint pension now they get single pensions.  85% of his pension goes to the nursing home.  all we pay for is some petty cash for hair cuts and buy him occasionaly toiletries and his medications.  I don't know where you are but the nursing home they are in is in Brisbane and is excellent.  Nice facilities and excellent care.  One we looked at and walked away from is now under investigation.  Where he is is privately owned though often the church run ones are good quality also.  Both dads took a little while to settle in but now see the nursing home as home and are very settled there.  It has been harder for my mother who is living alone for the first time in her life and after 53 years of marriage.  

It is a difficult time and a difficult decision but i am very aware of how hard it is to look after dementia patients (FIL was living with us for 6 months.  we took him and MIL in when she was diagnosed with cancer but she only lived a month.   It was only after they moved in we realised how bad it was and got far worse after she passed away.)

My thoughts are with you and I hope everything works out for you both.  Hospital social workers can be a marvellous help.  

[punch*drunk]

Just curious, have you spoken to your husband about this? Doe he understand whats happening?

My dad went in for respite and was in for 5 weeks, he was only home for 2 days before he asked to go back in again. He still believes he'll be coming home again although he hasnt asked to yet. I just received his centrelink assets test this morning, once we get approval for permanent residency, then we'll explain to him that he will be living there and move some more of his stuff in. He's very, very happy there and I hope that continues once he knows its his new home.

We've told dad he has alzheimers, but he doesnt believe us.

Something I have observed as a difference between being home and being in care is that he doesnt have the mental strain of trying to remember basic things (eating, medication, shower) so he copes much better in other ways. He's happier, he converses easier etc. he's also put on over 10kg that he had lost and looks healthier and younger. As hard as the decision was to put him in care, its really the best thing we could have done for him.

My dad has also started on an alzheimers medication, not 100% sure that its working, my sister thinks it is, I'm not so sure. I think the improvements are more to do with his happier relaxed state and better nutrition, his memory hasnt improved at all and in fact the couple of days he had at home showed that he'd slipped even further.

My thoughts are with you and your hubby ♥

[kengillard]

No I haven't spoken to him about it.....he knows he has visits to the "memory clinic".....read psychiatrist for diagnosis and follow up, but he's really going downhill quickly the last few days.  His mother ended up in a nursing home with dementia too. He has diabetes which has caused his vascular dementia.

Thank you for all your suggestions...no. 1 is get another assessment from ACAT...that's a starting point.  he's getting to the stage when he can't even get his own breakfast and lunch, which he was doing last week.  

Thanks all again.   It's also stressing out our daughter.....so I have to be strong for her too....it's good really...she's the only child here in Qld. and I think she feels it'll all fall onto her shoulders.

You do what you have to, I've learned.

yippee

[polksaladallie]

Perhaps read some of Sue Pieters-Hawke writings.

She had a lovely attitude which is different from other's.  Most people try to pull the sufferer back into the world they used to be in, thereby causing arguments and distress to all.  She said they should go into the ill person's world, and everyone will be calmer.

Eg. If the person demands lunch half an hour after they have had it, don't argue, give them some more lunch.  If they don't remember something, it doesn't matter, talk about something they do remember.

(I don't know if this would suit you, because every sufferer is different).

I have nursed people with dementia, and they were much happier then the staff looking after them.

Best wishes to you.

[kengillard]

Thanks Allie