What would you do?.. I sold an item over a month ago, the winning bidder paid but hasn't picked up.

[sidebyside12]

The buyer paid super fast via paypal,  but trying to get a message or some form of communication from them is getting to be very hard.  Arrangements were made for them to pick up the item but they didn't show, so I asked if they would like to arrange another day and they apologised and said yes.. but thats as far as it all got.   I have been sweet as pie in my messages but no longer getting any response.  I have sent a message asking if they would like if  refund them the money but still no reply... I don't want to be a meanie but I really want the item out of my house & up in airs as to whether I can refund the money and put it back on ebay to re-sell the item?  I am scared if I do that I might get bad feedback.. but how long am I meant to wait?