Weirdo using my Kaftan for sexual fantasies and eBay letting him return it!

[luvmaboyz2010]

I need to vent!  Sold $159 silk satin leopard kaftan.  Guy messaged me about his sexual fantasies wearing silk satin.   Then he opens return request saying it wasn’t charmeuse silk, which it wasn’t advertised as.   Got onto supervisor who said there was no evidence that he has used my Kaftan for his fantasies and won’t help me refuse the return.  What do they think he bought it for!   I won’t even be able to touch it let alone resell it.

ii read that if item not returned in original condition you can refund up to 50% off for loss.  Any returns I,ve had have been automatically deducted by eBay once delivered   Anyone know how to avoid this. As I,m sure you can imagine what will be on it!

[digital*ghost]

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@springyzone wrote:

As an aside I am astonished that any buyer would  think they had to mention to a seller what their fantasies were or why they are buying anything. Just pay for it and be done!

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Had a buyer once contact me about one of my necklaces, asking some interesting questions. I answered based on thinking they intended on using the necklace as an animal collar, and said I'd be concerned about using it for that purpose since it doesn't have a safety release if it got caught on something.

It was several days later I realised the "good boy" they were referring to was not a (traditional) pet.... 

Spoiler

Not the first time my jewellery has attracted BDSM-ers, but the first time I was completely clueless when replying LOL 

[countessalmirena]

Holy collar of pain...

One buyer's demeanour (coquettish)

Became - after questions - quite pettish;

To use digi's necklace

For purposes reckless...

No, no! That's a TMI fetish!

[kitty-kat-kollection]

Each to their own, I say! I've had numerous male buyers purchase some rather lovely, fancy high heels from me. None have ever said anything, nor would I expect them to (apart from positive feedback, of course!), and good for them if they enjoy wearing ladies shoes!

To the OP, I'm actually not sure if you read my detailed response above, but you seem to be a bit fixated on the buyer's potential use of your item. Bluntly...who cares? That isn't the point. You just want your money back that should not have been refunded to the buyer in the first place.

[4channel]

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@luvmaboyz2010 wrote:

I need to vent!  Sold $159 silk satin leopard kaftan.  Guy messaged me about his sexual fantasies wearing silk satin.   Then he opens return request saying it wasn’t charmeuse silk, which it wasn’t advertised as.   Got onto supervisor who said there was no evidence that he has used my Kaftan for his fantasies and won’t help me refuse the return.  What do they think he bought it for!   I won’t even be able to touch it let alone resell it.

ii read that if item not returned in original condition you can refund up to 50% off for loss.  Any returns I,ve had have been automatically deducted by eBay once delivered   Anyone know how to avoid this. As I,m sure you can imagine what will be on it!

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Once upon a time Demis  Roussos and Kamahl were desired by many women because of their superstar status as well as both being exotic. Women have told me they looked "the Beast" in their kaftans Women, especially Caucasian women were fascinated with them back in the day.

If the depth of his buyer's perversion was just fantasising about having a woman submit herself to him while singing "My Friend the Wind  or ""The Sounds of Gooodbye" ", could you re-sell it even for just a benign fantasy?  Putting myself in your shoes I wouldn't! Not even just for that.! But not knowing what it was actually used for but knowing there was a sexual connection, how could I re-sell it without disclosing history of it?  I'd have to disclose as my conscience wouldn't let me do otherwise. Being an honest person you'll be stuck with something that you may or may not sell whilst having to disclose the garment's history.

I'd personally write up a dummy auction, selling a returned garment that was posssibly used in a sexual fantasy and email it to eBay with the words "WOULD YOU BUY IT?"

[4channel]

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@springyzone wrote:

As an aside I am astonished that any buyer would  think they had to mention to a seller what their fantasies were or why they are buying anything. Just pay for it and be done!

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Re: Weirdo using my Kaftan for sexual fantasies and eBay letting him return it!
in reply to springyzone

6 hours ago

 @*tippy*toes* wrote:

I really don't care what fantasies people have, each to their own, as long as no one is getting hurt. I do know some of the more perverted ones, actually get off on telling people what they do. It almost adds to the fantasy even more. 

Interestingly, a significant number of people like this are high end white collar workers, like banking execs, high court judges, high ranking surgeons. 

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Good point too. That could indeed be the extension of the whole perverted fantasy. His telling the seller of the garment about his fantasy could be for gratification.  His version of the obscene phone call. The garment return could also be another part of his crazy game. Bloody heck, it gets worse when you think about it. If these actions are actually extensions of his fantasy then you'd have wonder how many times he's done this before.

You're right about high end workers etc. having their fantasies like this. As well as some weird men, I've even come across a couple of ladies that have done some "out there" things that would beat anything the boys on the booze could talk about on a Saturday night. I personally don't care what people do or think as long as they don't rope others into their scene. If a seller has been inconvineienced by part of this fantasy then it's not on!

I wouldn't even accept a return of the parcel of such an item. I'd throw it in the bin straight away.

[Anonymous]

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@4channel wrote:

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@luvmaboyz2010 wrote:

I need to vent!  Sold $159 silk satin leopard kaftan.  Guy messaged me about his sexual fantasies wearing silk satin.   Then he opens return request saying it wasn’t charmeuse silk, which it wasn’t advertised as.   Got onto supervisor who said there was no evidence that he has used my Kaftan for his fantasies and won’t help me refuse the return.  What do they think he bought it for!   I won’t even be able to touch it let alone resell it.

ii read that if item not returned in original condition you can refund up to 50% off for loss.  Any returns I,ve had have been automatically deducted by eBay once delivered   Anyone know how to avoid this. As I,m sure you can imagine what will be on it!

---

Once upon a time Demis  Roussos and Kamahl were desired by many women because of their superstar status as well as both being exotic. Women have told me they looked "the Beast" in their kaftans Women, especially Caucasian women were fascinated with them back in the day.

If the depth of his buyer's perversion was just fantasising about having a woman submit herself to him while singing "My Friend the Wind  or ""The Sounds of Gooodbye" ", could you re-sell it even for just a benign fantasy?  Putting myself in your shoes I wouldn't! Not even just for that.! But not knowing what it was actually used for but knowing there was a sexual connection, how could I re-sell it without disclosing history of it?  I'd have to disclose as my conscience wouldn't let me do otherwise. Being an honest person you'll be stuck with something that you may or may not sell whilst having to disclose the garment's history.

I'd personally write up a dummy auction, selling a returned garment that was posssibly used in a sexual fantasy and email it to eBay with the words "WOULD YOU BUY IT?"

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Why not resell it as being good for sexual fantasies?  It might sell better next time (if it has to be resold) if that's the sort of person likely to buy it.

A lot of people avoid speaking to the local homosexual man because he goes out of his way to keep everyone up to date on his sexual exploits.  You can't speak to him for 5 minutes without him dropping something into the conversation that most people just don't want to hear.  Most people don't care how often he gets a homosexual prostitute to visit, or indeed, that he has one visit at all, but I doubt there's anyone in town who doesn't know.  Neither do we want to hear how many hours he spends trawling the public parks and toilets looking for a sexual partner.  I can no longer walk into a public toilet (especially in Ballarat, but no doubt he visits several towns weekly) without looking sideways at anyone else in there!

[lyndal1838]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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A lot of people avoid speaking to the local homosexual man because he goes out of his way to keep everyone up to date on his sexual exploits.  You can't speak to him for 5 minutes without him dropping something into the conversation that most people just don't want to hear.  Most people don't care how often he gets a homosexual prostitute to visit, or indeed, that he has one visit at all, but I doubt there's anyone in town who doesn't know.  Neither do we want to hear how many hours he spends trawling the public parks and toilets looking for a sexual partner.  I can no longer walk into a public toilet (especially in Ballarat, but no doubt he visits several towns weekly) without looking sideways at anyone else in there!

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Are you joking?   Please tell me your tongue is firmly planted in your cheek.

[springyzone]

I think you are probably right & like you, I don't mind what fantasies people have, each to their own.

But I think in this case the ebay rep did get one part right and that is, we have no idea if the item of clothing was actually worn or not. When someone buys something, I would say it is unusual for the buyer to mention what it is for. Items could be for the seller or bought as a gift or bought as part of some fantasy. The seller wouldn't know. It's the same with any item bought & then returned.

I can't actually see a problem with reselling it as long as it comes back in original condition, with attached tags, unused etc

But the crux of the matter to me is the reason for the return, that it wasn't as described. Sounds to me as if it was exactly as described so you'd think the buyer wouldn't have a leg to stand on. This being ebay though, the buyer could well win. If it doesn't come back in pristine order, what recourse does the seller have? How likely are they to win if they contact ebay with photos?

[4channel]

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Re: Weirdo using my Kaftan for sexual fantasies and eBay letting him return it!

in reply to 4channel

19 hours ago - last edited 19 hours ago

@tangledstitches wrote:

Why not resell it as being good for sexual fantasies? It might sell better next time (if it has to be resold) if that's the sort of person likely to buy it.

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Yeah well, someone may buy it if that's their bag. I suppose if OP wants to get their money back then having it listed with the history may excite someone of a certain persuasion or whatever.  But that's going to be in the minority and only a narrow margin of people would be interested. Seller may be waiting years. As I mentioned, if I was in the OP's shoes, I'd refuse return of the item or throw it straight in the rubbish bin.  To be honest, this kind of thing should be kept of eBay. The correct venue would be that ebanned site.

Having thought about the bind the seller / OP is in, I think they've been made part of some sick or childish game. If the buyer is trying to return an item, why the heck complicate things by disclosing their sexual history and suggesting the garment may have been used as a prop?

[tatoozakk]

Spoiler

😅😂