Am I being unfair? Seller has sent SIX requests to reverse neutral feedback.

[aussie-rose]

Hi Folk
In a nut shell: I ordered 4 items from an o'seas seller, 2 items on May 24th and and identical order in mid June.

Both items are small, & light. (a sheet of stickers & a luminous straw) 

With BOTH orders the stickers came, but the second item (the straws) must have been posted in a separate envelope as they didn't arrive. I left positive feedback for the stickers & waiting patiently for the second item. The buyer initiated contact with me, asking if I had received the straw. I said 'no' & he stated it had been returned to them because of "customs problems". He offered to refund or re-send. I accepted a refund for the May 'straw' and said I would wait longer for the June 'straw' to see if it arrived. It eventually came & I left positive feedback. I then left neutral feedback for the 'missing straw' (My comment was:Item didn't arrive due to 'shipping problems'. Seller willing to refund.)

The seller sent me a message which contained: 

"Also it would be nice of you to give us positive feedback and all of 5 stars after you receive the money.
You know your kind support really means a lot to us,if you don't like, you can ignore this feedback instead of negative or any low DSR."

After a 2nd request, buttering me up saying how nice I was etc, I replied:
"I think I left neutral feedback didn't I? Yes I am a nice person but I am an honest person and so i didn't leave negative feedback I don't think but probably left neutral feedback because the item never arrived and so I didn't think it warranted a "positive" feedback."

In reply to their 3rd request I said:
"No, I think the neutral feedback is fair. The item never arrived, so I didn't have a 'positive' experience in this instance. I am not willing to change it. sorry. "

In reply to their 4th & 5th requests I have said:
I'm sorry, I won't be changing my mind.Please stop contacting me about this issue. Thanks :)"

I've just received a 6th request. I;m not sure what to do now! They are pleading with me to change it:

no , my friend 
i really need you help 
we have refund the money to you 
and the product has shopped out , it just has lost or delays on the way 
we have lost too much 
and the neutral feedback will hurt our selling 
would you mind do me the favor , if yes , we will send the request link to you 
thank you for your understanding and support 
have a nice da y
thank you

This buyer's stats are 97.6% rating, with 314 "REVISED FEEDBACK" where buyers have revised neutral or neg feedback for them. They've had 3 name changes since being a member. (Not sure if that is significant?) Member since 07-Jan-15.

Am I being unfair? I usually give positive feedback in 95-98% of cases, but I do leave a few neutral feedbacks when I feel it's warranted, and the very odd negative, which as a buyer I believe is my right, otherwise why have a feedback system?!  I have only just started reading the forums in the past few days and didn't realise until last night that a neutral or negative feedback acts like a 'demerit' against the seller. However I stand by the decisions I have made in the past to contact sellers when an item arrives damaged or isn't working etc. I sometimes open a 'return' case usually just contact them direct and alsert them to the fact the item is defective etc..

Opinions please. 

[collect247]

I'm sure that a neutral feedback doesn't affect a sellers rating score at all anymore and if they sell a lot then it will disappear before to long anyway.

[kopenhagen5]

Just ignore the messages and delete them without reading them.

Add them to your BBL and tick the box to block comms.

[phorum_junkie* · Accepted solution]

While you are perfectly entitled to leave any feedback you want I would never leave a neut because a seller's item was lost in the post and they offered an immediate refund. What more could the seller do? I would not have left any feedback and if I did it would have been a pos..

[springyzone]

I believe you are entitled to be left alone. I can understand a couple of messages but after that, it is just overkill so I'd be leaving the feedback. If you give in, they will just think harrassment works.

Was the feedback fair? It's all subjective really but I personally would not have left any feedback at all for the straw, considering they fully refunded you and made first contact with you about it.

My perspective is that a neutral is for where the seller has been less than helpful or the item a bit faulty, but it's come through.

If i got nothing & had to fight for a refund etc, or an item was seriously not as described, perhaps a neg.

On the whole though I doubt it will make a big difference to their selling ability.

[lyndal1838]

I am with PJ on this one.

The seller contacted you and offered an immediate refund when you told him you had not received the straw.  He could not do much more.

Maybe it was not a positive experience for you but was it really the seller's fault that it was lost in the mail?

I would not have left any feedback in this case.

[fixnwear]

aussie - rose - yes, you are being unfair.

Seller is Chinese, that's true - but does that mean they don't deserve a recognition of fixing (or offering to) your delivery problem.

Anyone who pleads with you to reverse the bad f/back  - after not really doing anything wrong in the first place deserves a little courtesy to revise it - as it shouldn't have been left in the first place.

You saying you "didn't have a great experience" can only matter if the seller did something that is withing their control - and postage isn't one of them. No seller can control the outcome of anything once it has been entrusted to a third party.

And - whichever one of you said: "let the bad f/back stay, they are Chinese, they don't think of anyone else but themselves"

I don't belive you said that!

Who do you think all buyers think of (whatever their nationality & ethnic origin)?

OP, reverse your f/back to reflect that seller did whatever he could to help. Even though neutral f/back doesn't mean anything much - it means a great deal to this seller - and that's all that counts.

[aussie-rose]

Thank you for your feedback. I can accept that I may have 'accidentally misused' the feedback system. I'm a big girl and willing to learn & improve etc and I want to play nice and be fair.

Given that, however, do you feel it's unreasonable of the seller to keep contacting me? What would you do in this situation? Eat humble pie and reverse the neutral or would you see that as only encouraging them to continue their habit of hassling people in the future as they will "eventually' give in and reverse the feedback? I saw the 314 "reversals" and am reading into that figure that a whole lot of people have been presuaded to reverse their feedback.

I appreciate your frank feedback, even if it makes me squirm to think I may have been a little unfair in some of my feedback. 

[egglesdtp]

I agree with PJ, Lyndal and fixnwear. You should not have left neutral feedback for something out of the seller's control, and that they in fact resolved by providing a refund. Yes, they may be a nuisance asking so many times for you to revise it and if I were you, I would.

[aussie-rose]

Thanks for taking the time to give your opinion. 🙂 I asked for honest feedback so although I want to "hasten to add that I really am a nice person" etc etc...I am willng resist that urge & to listen & learn. 

Do you think this seller is artifically inflating their feedback ranking by having so many reversals, or is that a pretty normal amount of reversals for an active seller? 

Here's their last 12 month's stats:

27,990 Positive       336 Neutral        689 Negative

Is changing ID names considered a "red flag" that seller is trying to hide something? (I realise they just might not like their old name, rather than trying to hide something.)

(BTW..."I hasten to add" I didn't mention the nationality of the seller. Actually they are not from China.)