Someone asking me to buy on their behalf

[evaeba]

My middle aged work supervisor with excellent written skills and computer savvy asked  me to buy some items  on eBay ( she pays) 

She has an eBay member sibling  and friends, yet she asks me.  She says she doesn’t want to buy herself due to privacy issue 

I did it for  her once but didn’t  feel comfortable about the whole thing

I would appreciate any thoughts on the matter

Kind regards

[springyzone · Accepted solution]

As long as she pays, I don't see it as a huge issue. And I mean, pay when you buy, not pay when it arrives.

The only trouble might come if there is ever a problem so if you notice she wants to buy from any seller you think might be a bit iffy, just say you aren't comfortable with that. Explain it is all care but you won't take responsibility if there are any losses.

It depends on how often she buys too. The occasional purchase isn't too bad but if it got to be every week, that's a bit of an imposition.

I have heard ebay is changing and cutting out paypal as a payment method in the next few months or so. If that happens, you could always say to her you aren't bothering with ebay for a while as you relied on paypal and you are not confident paying another way at the moment. That gives you a graceful 'out' and she could hardly say anything as she isn't confident using ebay full stop.

[evaeba · Accepted solution]

Thank you so much Springyzone

That  helped a lot; and Yes, I do use PayPal so an excellemt idea too

Kind Regards

[jellybirddesigns · Accepted solution]

There's nothing stopping her opening another Ebay account just for her own purchasing. She doesn't have to tell her friends and family about it.

What type of items is she asking you to purchase? Everyday low cost bits and pieces, or expensive stuff? Lots of things at once, or a single item? The reason I ask is maybe she has a shopping addiction.

Alternatively, I'm wondering if other people have access to her Ebay account and may be controlling her spending or checking up on her in a controlling manner so she doesn't want them to know.

[domino-710 · Accepted solution]

OK- I too am interested in why??

She's a member - family are members - friends are members - but I assume all different accounts.

Why she asks due to privacy reasons - no idea.

Could she have nosey rels - and can't purchase a surprise gift or two - but how would they know - unless - the mail arrives.

However - if not receiving the money up front - it is rather rude to assume you - whatever the cost are able to afford - off the bat.

[gutterpunkz05 · Accepted solution]

Unfortunately my suspicious mind is doing cartwheels, if it is simply a privacy concern, then they can simply buy as a guest.

Somethings not right!!

[papermoon.lady · Accepted solution]

I find it a bit odd too. Sometimes I buy things for really old people who can't use a computer and who want to buy something for their grandchildren for example, but this obviously does not apply to that lady.

As already mentioned, maybe she is a bit addicted to shopping and her family does not like that. If she does not buy anything weird or private, I don't see what the privacy concerns are. And if she really has privacy concerns, why would she ask you (not a friend or family) to buy private or weird stuff for her? You obviously see what she buys.

Could it be that her account has been permanently banned and that she is not allowed to create a new one?

[papermoon.lady · Accepted solution]

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@papermoon.lady wrote:

Could it be that her account has been permanently banned and that she is not allowed to create a new one?

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Maybe she does not want to ask friends or family because she is afraid they would understand and it would be embarrassing. If this is the case, people who live with her probably can't use eBay any more either, according to what people usually say here.

[*sons_and_daughters* · Accepted solution]

The OP's buyer may be wanting to purchase things of an adult nature, whereby she doesn't want her family to find out. There could be a multitude of reasons.

My husband's former boss used to ask him to purchase things for him on ebay. He was a collector of Matchbox cars and wanted replacement tyres, or the decal stickers, amongst other things. He was completely technology illiterate. So much so, if my husband sent him a text message, he'd reply by calling and leaving a voice message because he couldn't get his head around text messaging. As for ebay, forget it!

When he wanted something, he'd tell my husband exactly what it was. Husband would search and find a reputable seller. He would tell the boss how much it was including postage. Boss would hand over the cash, husband would place the order. An order was never placed until money was handed over. That was a given.

For the OP, request the money up front before placing an order. If the boss has a PayPal account, use their account to pay for the purchase. You only need their email address attached to their PP account.

[janeababe · Accepted solution]

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@evaeba wrote:

My middle aged work supervisor with excellent written skills and computer savvy asked  me to buy some items  on eBay ( she pays) 

She has an eBay member sibling  and friends, yet she asks me.  She says she doesn’t want to buy herself due to privacy issue 

I did it for  her once but didn’t  feel comfortable about the whole thing

I would appreciate any thoughts on the matter

Kind regards

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I’m taking from your post that this supervisor is putting you in a tough situation and perhaps you might feel under pressure to buy these items for her as she is your supervisor.  

I also realise that coming clean with her may put you in an awkward situation too, with possible retribution at work. 

My spidey senses are tingling with this.  I think your supervisor isn’t being truthful, and there’s more at hand than we are all privy to. 

If possible, I’d be trying to get out of it asap. Something just doesn’t feel right.

I’d be using the PayPal excuse too. 

Please come back and tell us how you get on 💋