100 Things I have learned from the Looney Left. I think I have got it covered.
1. I am a Nazi 2. I am a racist 3. I am xenophobic 4. I am an “Islamophobe” (whatever that is) 5. I am a bigot 6. I am a bogan 7. I am a redneck 8. I am a homophobe 9. I am a misogynist 10. I am a member of the KKK 11. I am a Christian Zealot 12. I am a Zionist Zealot 13. I am an LNP stooge 14. I have a low IQ 15. Only white people are racist 16. I have sex with my Mum 17. I use my Mum’s internet. In the basement 18. Pauline Hanson is my Mum 19. Pauline Hanson is the Devil 20. I listen to Alan Jones 21. Alan Jones is the Devil 22. I listen to Ray Hadley 23. Ray Hadley is the Devil 24. I read Andrew Bolt 25. Andrew Bolt is the Devil 26. I only read NewsCorp 27. Gina Rinehart owns Australia 28. Gina Rinehart is the Devil 29. Rupert Murdoch owns the world 30. Rupert Murdoch is the Devil 31. Tony Abbott is to blame for everything 32. Tony Abbott wants a war with everyone 33. Tony Abbott is a Pom 34. Tony Abbott is the Devil 35. The ALP are never to blame for anything 36. The GFC is to blame for all the ALP’s policy failures 37. Wayne Swann is the world’s best treasurer 38. Joe Hockey is to blame for Wayne Swann’s deficits 39. Joe Hockey is the Devil 40. Kevin Rudd is the best PM in Australian history 41. Julia Gillard is the best PM in Australian history 42. Bill Shorten is trustworthy 43. Tanya Plibersek is a geographical mastermind 44. Communists deny they are Communists 45. The Greens are not Communists 46. The Greens are never wrong 47. The Greens are not hypocrites 48. Everything the Greens do not like must be banned 49. Everything the Greens like is a human right 50. Everything the Greens like must be paid for by others
51. Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young is the moral guardian of the Universe 52. Greens Senator Dr Richard DiNatalie can singlehandedly stop the Ebola outbreak one social media post at a time 53. Holding bits of paper up in social media campaigns works 54. Adding hashtags in social media campaigns works #bringbackourgirls 55. Manus Island and Nauru detention camps are worse than Auschwitz 56. Drowning at sea is a human right 57. Scott Morrison is to blame for taking away illegal immigrants human right to drown at sea 58. Scott Morrison is the Devil 59. Every illegal immigrant is a genuine asylum seeker 60. Australia is the only safe country in the world for refugees to flee to 61. Coal can be replaced by wind power (when it’s windy) 62. Oil can be replaced by solar power (when it’s sunny) 63. The world’s energy needs can be met by harnessing the magical powers of unicorn farts and fairy sneezes 64. Global Warming only happens when it is hot 65. Climate Change only happens when it is not hot 66. Global Warming will kill half the world’s population by the year 2004 67. Climate Change will raise sea levels by 5 metres by the year 2010 68. Global Warming / Climate Change predictions are never wrong 69. Tim Flannery is a scientific genius 70. Al Gore is the Messiah 71. David Suzuki is famous for other stuff apart from making motorcycles 72. Human Rights abuses do not happen in Communist China 73. The Communist Chinese occupation of Tibet is ok 74. Israel’s occupation of the West Bank is evil 75. Christianity is evil 76. Islam is the bomb 77. Barack Obama is not a Kenyan 78. Barack Obama is not a Muslim 79. Barack Obama earned his Nobel Peace Prize 80. Corporations are corrupt 81. Unions are never corrupt 82. The LNP are corrupt 83. The ALP are never corrupt 84. Capitalism is evil 85. Democracy is evil 86. Israel is evil 87. America is evil 88. America is to blame for all the trouble in the Middle East 89. The Soviet Union/Russia never caused trouble in the Middle East 90. Hacking is ok when the Looney Left do it 91. Hacking is illegal when the Looney Left is the target 92. Wearing a Guy Fawkes mask at protests is not gay 93. Aboriginals were just one big happy family before 1788 94. The ABC is not biased 95. SBS is not biased 96. Gillian Triggs is not biased 97. Illegal drugs must be legalised 98. Legal drugs must be banned 99. When the ALP sell public assets, it is good policy 100. When the LNP sell public assets, it is the end of civilisation as we know it
