A bit of toilet humour to cheer you all up. I wrote this in response to a prank photo that circulated showing empty shelves in Busselton Library .
You’ve heard no doubt, the news about
The current bog roll panic,
With fights in shops and calls to cops
And bogans going manic.
Me old mate, Blue, was in a stew
That all around no shop he found
With bogroll for his dunny.
He sat alone upon the ‘throne’
But then at last there came a blast -
“Well b*gger me,” he cried with glee
“I’ll fix those theivin’ crooks.
To wipe me crack I’ll just change tack –
And get meself some books.’
With footsteps light at dead of night
And helped himself off every shelf
With speed extraordinary.
Then home he crept while others slept
Triumphant and quite blasé
And quickly took each stolen book
And stashed them in the khazi
“And now” he said “they’ll all be read
And when I’m done, to clean me bum
I’ve books that that tease and books that please,
And books would shock a parson
But, stone the crows, who sees or knows
Which words I wipe me a**e on?
The library’s shock to find their stock
Was plain to all – as was their call
That justice out be meted.
The South West Times deplored the crimes,
And called for retribution
But sly old Blue had left no clue,
The only bloke in on the joke
Is me – and there’s no money
Could tempt me to dob in Old Blue
