A man walked into a bar

[*crikey*mate*]

(no punchline)

What's your favourite pub meal?

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

An Irishman walks by a bar........................................it could happen

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

A drunk walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he says.

[clair.de.lune]

A guy with tourettes walks into a **bleep**EN **bleep**

[clair.de.lune]

A man with Alzheimer's walks into a............... hello everybody

[*crikey*mate*]

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering-wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender says, "You know you got a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of your pants?" The pirate says, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts."

[*crikey*mate*]

A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After
sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna
hear a blonde joke?

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I
think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five
things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde "biker girl."
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is a blonde and a professional weight-lifter
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously Mister, Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Nah...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[*crikey*mate*]

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘I’ll have a whisky and ……… soda.’ The bartender says, ‘Why the big pause?’ ‘Dunno,’ says the bear. ‘I’ve always had them.

[*crikey*mate*]

A fish walks into a bar. The bartender says,

‘What do you want?’

The fish croaks, ‘Water.’

[*crikey*mate*]

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, then discovers he has to go to the bathroom.

To stop anyone stealing his drink he puts a note on it saying, ‘I spat in this beer.’

When he returns he finds another note saying, ‘So did I!’

[*crikey*mate*]

Two women walk into a bar -

Spoiler

you would have thought one of them would have spotted it.