A man walked into a bar

[*crikey*mate*]

(no punchline)

What's your favourite pub meal?

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

A panda walks into a bar and orders some food, after he's done eating he shoots the bartender and starts leaving.

"Hey, you can't do that!" said someone else in the bar

"Yes I can, I'm a panda bear it's what I do, look it up." says the panda bear.

Later he looks up "panda bear" and sure enough it says

"Panda Bear; Eats shoots and leaves."

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve bacteria here." And the bacteria says, "But we work here. We're staph."

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop." 

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

An Irishman walks out of a bar.........................................

Hey, it COULD happen!

[serendipityricho]

A bra and a set of jumper leads get thrown out of a bar..

The bra asks why--told --your off your its and your mate looks like he

wants to start something...................................Richo.

[*crikey*mate*]

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans, walk into a bar. After scrutinizing the group, the bartender says "I'm sorry, but I can't let you come in here without a Thai."

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

A woman goes into a bar and asks for a "double entendre".

So the bartender gave her one.